And
Fiona (played by Lisa Kudrow) does have her eyes on the people who populate her world. She’s on the
campaign plane for the duration of this episode, but still keeping her eyes on
everyone via the webcam.
There
are a record number of four guest stars in this episode: Selma, Blair playing the human baby incubator (pregnancy surrogate
for Fiona’s assistant, Jerome); Lily
Tomlim; playing Fiona’s mother; Conon
O’Brian, playing himself; and David
Schwimmer, playing Fiona’s patient/stalker /accuser/old flame (I’m not sure
what he is), Newell.
The
official title of this show is “The Insanity Offense.” I’m going to rename it “The Criminal Capers”
because each of Fiona’s computer contacts are involved in schemes and
activities that could land them in prison.
Taking
the stars in chronological order, we begin with Selma Blair. While the cat’s
away, the mice will play. She is sitting at Fiona’s desk eating from a big
bucket of fried chicken (KFC?). Fiona is a bit of a neat freak, so she freaks
out over the idea of grease on her desk. An argument ensues, and after a bout
of verbal sparring, Fiona accuses the surrogate of a criminal act--faking her
pregnancy to get money.
Maybe
you’re just fat, Fiona says. “Fat,” screams the enraged surrogate, “I am not
fat!” She lifts her blouse, pulls off the padding that made her look pregnant,
and shows off her flat abs. Fiona orders her and her “foam baby” out of the
house.
Next
Fiona speaks with her mother, Putsy. Her mother is in a facility for her
supposed (or actual) dementia. She’s dressed like Florence Nightingale and she
has a sock puppet on her hand that she calls Putsy Petite. She insists that
Fiona speak to the puppet. Putsy, the human one, tells Fiona that she has unintentionally
killed her roommate by giving her pills. Putsy obtained the pills by having the
other patients feed their meds to Putsy Petite. The sock puppets mouth hole led
to a tube which deposited the pills in a jar.
Putsy
wants Fiona to declare her insane so she can escape punishment. Fiona is
shocked by her mother’s crimes, but not so shocked as she is at the sight of
her mother’s bare, somewhat pinkish, buttocks when she turns her back to the
camera to check on whether or not her roommate is breathing. (Putsy ended up in this institution because
she had taken to walking around bottomless.)
Fiona
asks “Are you wearing a false bottom or have you just had work done?” I’m labeling this as the-fall-on the floor–laughing
moment of the week.
Now
Fiona has to deal with Conon O’Brien. Conan has gotten his criminal band
members to cut down Fiona’s tree as revenge for Fiona’s refusal to help him trick
his sidekick on his show, Andy, into taking more of a backseat role. The tree
is being “felled” as she speaks with Conan.
The
quick-thinking Fiona tells Conan that the tree has fallen on Jerome. Conan is aghast
when he hears that he might be criminally liable. Fiona tells him it is her
ethical duty to report him. He begs Fiona not to do this. Fiona says she will
keep his secret if he replaces her tree with another 300-year-old tree and let her be a guest on his show so
she can promote herself.
Fiona
is lying about Jerome, we soon see. Jerome walks into her office and almost
gets on camera as Fiona hastily closes the session.
Finally,
Newell is on her computer screen. He is at her house demanding that she open
the door. She tries to tell him that she is not at home, but Newell won’t believe
her. He’s very agitated and hurls his father-fornicator epitaph at her again. The
neighbors have evidently called the police because he is causing such a ruckus,
and David scampers away before they arrive.
Every
character on the show has committed the offense of being insane, insanely funny,
criminally insanely funny.
This picture is from www.sho.com
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