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Thursday, August 30, 2012
HBO True Blood "Save Yourself"
Fans of HBO’s True Blood call themselves “Trubies.” I watch True Blood, and maybe at one time I was a Trubie, but not anymore. The plots seem to be done for laughs, not for gripping drama.
For instance, Morella who is from the race of fae (the fairies whose superpower is light energy) is pregnant by Andy, the sheriff of Bon Temps. She goes to Merlotte’s, a bar, to give birth. She exclaims, “Oh, my light broke.” The she writhes around on the floor screaming until there’s a blinding blast of light from her nether region, and out pops a baby. Everyone ohs and ahs, then Pow!, another blast of light, another baby. This is repeated four times. Four blasts, four babies. Then Morella picks herself up off the floor and skips out the door, leaving the dumbfounded Andy to take care of the babies. How can this not have been meant to be funny?
In the opening scene, all the fairies are standing in front of a fun house door. (How appropriate because the plot seems to have come straight from a carnival fun house.) ussell Edgington , the oldest meanest vampire, is drooling with his desire for the insanely delicious blood of fairies. The fairies aim the light energy beams at Edgington in unison. Edgington laughs saying it tickles. Then the light breaks through his skin as Eric arrives to stake him. I’m not sure if it was the fairies’ light beams or Eric’s stake that did Edgington in but he dissolves into a pile of sticky goo. I think Edgington is gone for good this time.
Now that Edgington has been taken care of, Eric, Nora, Tara, Sookie and Jason storm the Authority headquarters. Jason enters six guns blazing, one in each hand, like a parody of a B-feature western. His aim is true and soon all the vampires are just goo. Bloody goo is dripping from the walls, the ceilings, and is all over the floor. I don’t think I was supposed to be laughing in the midst of the climactic rescue scene.
“Be careful,” Tara tells Sookie, “It’s slippery.” The place is a vampire slaughterhouse and Tara tells Sookie that the floor is slippery like someone had just spilled beer on the floor of Merlotte’s. This is the crazy-juxtaposition-of-the-mundane-with-the-surrealistic moment of the week.
Meanwhile back at the inner sanctum, Bill has devised a plan to rid himself of the only remaining contender to be the Supreme Vampire. He tells Salome that Lilith has appeared to him and commanded him to serve and protect her because she is the Lilith’s Chosen One. Salome fulfills Lilith’s command to “drink all of me,” by downing the blood of Lilith that has been preserved for centuries in a vial. But, Bill has cleverly switched out the blood with other blood that he has poisoned with silver. As Salome is writhing on the floor vomiting blood, Bill straddles her, stakes her, and she is reduced to a pile of goo.
Now Bill downs the actual blood of Lilith as a horrified Eric and Sookie watch. He is reduced to a pile of goo. Is it all over for Bill?. No, he rises from the puddle of blood as Lillth rose from a blood puddles in previous episodes. He stands tall, bloody, and triumphant. He bares his extra-long extrawhite famgs. Eric yells to Sookie to run. (As if she could out-race a vampire.) And that is the end of season five.
The name of this episode is “Save Yourself.” I’m renaming it , “Bloody Goo by the Barrel.” Who produces all this goo? Whoever he is, he must be making barrels of money. There was so much bloody goo in this episode that I thought that somebody had ordered too much, and they decided that they had to use it all up in the last episode of the season..
This show has become a bloody mess.
[And yet, I still want to come back and see how Sookie escapes. Darn those cliff-hanger finales.]