HBO True Blood #57 Gone, Gone, Gone Blood Bath

This episode is entitled “Gone, Gone, Gone", but I’m renaming it “Blood Bath” I am not using that term metaphorically to suggest there was a lot of murder and mayhem, although there certainly was plenty of that in this episode as in every other episode. I mean that a lot of the characters were actually bathed in blood.

It began with Sookie. Mike comes to her door. Mike formerly a friend, has become a vampire. With barely a “how-dee-do,” he attacks Sookie, biting her leg and drinking her blood. Fortunately, Sookie had just ordered some Chinese food, and received a pair of wooden chopsticks with her order. A chopstick makes an excellent stake for killing a vampire. Now, remember when you kill a vampire they don’t just die--they burst into an explosion of blood. Sookie, the Vampire Slayer, gets a blood bath, but she lives and is spunky as ever in her next scene. It’s a good thing she didn’t decide to order pizza. A cardboard box is useless when fighting a vampire.

Molly is a vampire who helped Eric in his escape attempt. I don’t know how old she is in vampire years, but in human years she appears to be barely more than a teenager.  She looks like a nice girl, the type who would join the 4H club. She’s one of the few vampires that does not look like someone straight out of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition. She meets the true death with the vampire’s “staking” gismo, ironically the gizmo she invented. It’s their version of the electric chair.  The contraption is attached to the body like a harness.  There’s a cross over the chest with the silver stake pointing to the heart. When the executioner presses the remote control button, the vampire is staked. Another blood bath, although technically no one gets splattered—there’s just a nice little pool of blood on the floor.

[Sidebar on Molly’s demise: Isn’t that always the way it is when there’s rule breaking in the workplace, the man gets off scot-free and the woman gets the shaft. Also, Molly might have survived if she had just been more sex-potty instead of smart.]

The ghost of Godric appears to Eric and his sister Nora. Godric is the vampire who is “the maker” of both Eric and Nora. He met the “true death” a while back, but you just can’t keep a good vampire down. Liliith does not like Godric attempting to sway her two acolytes against her. She materializes and rakes Godrics neck with her vampire fingernails. Godric meets the true death a second time, and Lilith gets a head-to-toe blood bath which she appears to enjoy very much.

Finally we have a human, Ginger, at Fangtasia. There’s a new sheriff in town, and he is bullying Pam and Tara. Tara calls the sheriff to help her because she has botched the job of making Ginger into a vampire. Ginger is lying on a table. As the sheriff leans in to get a closer look, Ginger stabs him with a sliver dagger. Tara finishes off the job and Ginger gets a blood bath. Ginger freaks out. You would think that after years in the employ of vampires she would be used to blood by now.

Tara has the “oh, no they didn’t” line of the week. Tara tells the sheriff, “I don’t know nothing about birthin’ no baby vampires.”  Get it?  Tara is a black woman.  (I hope they paid her extra for having to say that.)  

By the way, the sheriff was obviously none too bright. Tara tells the sheriff than her maker, Pam, said she wasn’t making any new vampires and Tara wasn’t to do so either. Tara tells the sheriff she tired to turn Ginger into a vampire, but she botched the job and she’s afraid to tell Pam. The sheriff should have immediately known that a vampire cannot disobey her maker, and immediately realized that Tara was lying. But he didn’t so he fell victim to her trap. Also he is a little slow in another way, physically slow.  Vampires can move at super speeds. He should have been able to dodge a knife wielded by a human.

 
The vampires are getting very preachy these days. They are always having deep discussions about religion. They don’t make a whole lot of sense when they discuss “the Vampire Bible” and other religious issues. I suppose the writers of the show mean this to be satire about modern-day human religions. If it is satire, the writers forgot the part where you make the satire clever or funny. The preachy moments make me want to be gone, gone, gone.

I found this picture at http://bestmoviesevernews.com