Real Time with Bill Maher #350 04/17/15 "More Zombie Lies"

by Catherine Giordano

Zombie Lies: Environmental Edition
 

 

Back on July 11, 2014, Bill Maher did a bit about zombie lies. (See the review, Zombie Lies) On April 17, 2015, episode 350, he updated that bit. Maher named his final New Rules bit, “Zombie Lies; Environmental Division.”

Zombie lies are the lies Republicans tell, the lies that are discredited and disproven, yet they won’t die. Only the zombie lies will be worse than ever because it is presidential campaign season. If you are into drinking games, watch a newscast, or the Republican debates, and chug a drink every time you hear a zombie lie. But only play for 10 minutes –I don’t want anyone passing out.

Maher tore into many of the Republican candidates for President. Not all of them--it’s only a one hour show. For example, Ted Cruz explains away global warming by saying,"In the 1970’s, everyone said cooling was the problem." Maher corrects him saying, “Not everybody, just one Newsweek article. And the article said a FEW scientists believed it."  

[By the way, we should be entering a mini ice age about now because of the earth’s position relative to the sun. The greenhouse gasses have kept the planet warm. Which would be a good thing, except the green house gases are keeping the planet TOO warm.] 

Ted Cruz likes to say that scientific consensus can be wrong, citing the fact that at one time everyone believed that the sun revolved around the earth. Galileo was the dissenter and he was right. Maher blew a gasket. It wasn’t scientific consensus—it was Galileo against the consensus of the church leaders, the ones who believed “Bible myths from cavemen.”  

Maher said the zombie lies are for the Republican donors. Even Republican voters now accept that the earth is over-warming. “The zombie lies are for the Republican donors who make their money killing the planet. … It’s what their fellow prostitutes in the sex industry call  ‘the girlfriend experience.’”

 

Below is a video of the bit, Zombie Lies: Environmental Division.

 

 

 

CLICK HERE

Judith Miller and her Iraq War zombie lies

The interview was with Judith Miller, Pulitzer Prize winner former editor of The New York Times. She is the author of a new book The Story: A Reporter's Journey. The book is supposed to be about how everyone got it wrong When George W. Bush took the country to war. It wasn’t his fault, and it wasn’t her fault for reporting the lies (the zombie lies) in the New York Times as if they were true. It was faulty intelligence. That is her story and she is sticking to it. She insists she was a diligent skeptical reporter; I didn’t believe a word of what she said.  

The intelligence was fabricated and cherry-picked and by now everyone knows it. I’m confident that even Judith Miller knows it.  

 

Presidential Candidates

Maher spoke about the so called Clinton-Bush dynasties. There is a Bush dynasty. Prescott Bush was a senator. His son George H. W. Bush was a president. Then GHW’s son, George W. Bush was president, and now another of his sons, JEB bush is running for President. On the Clinton side—there has been only one Clinton in public office so far, President Bill Clinton. And the Clinton years were good years. Clinton gave us peace and surpluses; the Bush presidencies gave us war and bankruptcy.  
 

Rubio claims to be the young fresh face in the race. Maher remarked that “he looks like the pool boy.” He looks young, but his ideas are old ideas. Panelist Neera Tanden, president of the Center for American Progress and former advisor at the Department of Health and Human Services where she worked on The Affordable Care Act, said “Yu can’t be the candidate of the future if you are against same-sex marriage.”  

Maher said he used to like Rand Paul because he was the only one of the Republican candidates who was not a hawk. Paul is now right on board with the hawks, giving a speech in front of an air craft carrier. Maher said, “It’s like Ross Perot went into a phone booth and Mitt Romney came out.”  

 

Clay Aiken

Clay Aiken

The mid-show guest was Clay Aiken, the American Idol contestant, former congressional candidate (D, NC) and subject of Esquire Networks documentary series, The Runner Up. He has recorded numerous musical albums including Playlist: The Very Best of Clay Aiken. 

Maher berated Aiken for distancing himself from Obama during his run. Many other candidates did the dame, and Maher is critical of all of them. As am I. Stand up for you party and your principles and if you lose, at least you fought the kid fight. It’s just stupid to say, as Aiken did, “I have nothing to do with Obama.” The voters don’t believe you. Further, if they want someone who has nothing to do with Obama, there is a Republican candidate to vote for.  

 

But it is hard to be mad at Clay Aiken. He is such a nice guy.

 

Money in Politics 

Money is having a corrosive effect in politics. Each of the nominees for president in 2016 will spend about a billion dollars.  

CLICK HERE

Panelist Jon Meacham is the executive editor at Random House and Pulitzer Prize winning author. His latest book is Thomas Jefferson: The Art of Power, a #1 New York Times bestseller. His next book will be about George H. W. Bush. He said, “Money is taking a physic toll on candidates.“ 
 

Michelle Caruso-Caberra, CNBC’s chief international correspondent and contributor to PBS’s Nightly Business Report, had a novel idea. She said, “We need small government, and then it will take less money to run campaigns.” Huh? Then she said, “Social security should be privatized. Then the public wouldn’t have anything to say about it.” Huh? 

 

Mid-Show Comedy Bit: 4/20

Once upon a time some young stoners in California used to meet every afternoon at 4:20 pm to smoke a little weed. Maher said it was like the English having tea everyday at four. Meacham said, "My people have bourbon every day at five."

 

So now April 20^th (4/20) is the unofficial stoner holiday to celebrate weed.  

Maher did a very funny bit—a parody of “The Night Before Christmas,” only it was The Night Before 4/20.  

“The bowls were all packed and the bakes with great care in the hopes that Willie Nelson would soon be there.“

Later on in the poem. St. Woody arrives and

"We knew by the aroma, he had brought something for my glaucoma.”

Watch the whole bit here.

 

Bill Maher: Zombie Slayer

Soon we will be more inundated than ever before with zombie lies, as more and more Republicans jump into the race for the Republican nomination. It sometimes seems to me the race for who can tell the biggest lie. A good thing we have Zombie Slayer, Bill Maher, with his trusty cross-bow of wit, satire, and truth. 

 

Bill Maher’s Guests, #350,  April 17, 2015

The interview was with Judith Miller, Pulitzer Prize winner former editor of The New York Times. She is the author of a new book The Story: A Reporter's Journey




CLICK HERE

The mid-show guest was Clay Aiken, American Idol contestant, former congressional candidate (D, NC) and subject of Esquire Networks documentary series, The Runner Up.  He has recorded numerous musical albums including Playlist: The Very Best of Clay Aiken.

Panel guests included: 

Jon Meacham: Executive editor at Random House and Pulitzer Prize winning author. His latest book is Thomas Jefferson: The Art of Power, a #1 New York Times bestseller.  

Michelle Caruso-Caberra: CNBC’s chief international correspondent and contributor to PBS’s Nightly Business Report 

Neera-Tanden:  President of the Center for American Progress and former advisor at the Department of Health and Human Services where she worked on The Affordable Care Act. 

HBO’s “Real Time with Bill Maher” #312 “Killing Me Slowly”

By Catherine Giordano

Jimmy Carter 

“Killing Me Slowly” sums up my review and recap (and commentary) for HBO’s “Real Time with Bill Maher,” episode 212, which aired on 3/28/14.  Emphasis on “killing.”

The monologue began with a reference to Putin’s invasion of Crimea. Maher said it was not like the U.S. invasion of Iraq. “First of all, it worked.” He followed it up with a jab at John’s McCain’s (R, AZ) seeming eagerness for war. He reported that McCain said, “Russia is just a gas station masquerading as a country.”  Maher jested that Putin replied, “Arizona is just a nursing home masquerading as a state.”

Maher also joked about the whitewash report from Christie’s lawyers that exonerated Christie of any wrongdoing on anything, ever.  Maher said that the report was so over the top, fawning and complimentary, that it might have well have said “women want to date him, men want to be him, cows want to be eaten by him.”

The interview was with former president Jimmy Carter, former president, Nobel Peace prize recipient, and founder of “The Carter Center.”  Carter has a new book, A Call to Action: Women, Religion, Violence, and Power.  Carter wears his Christianity on his sleeve—he’s a Sunday school teacher, so Maher couldn’t resist challenging him on religion.  He told Carter those who advocate violence, enslave people, mistreat women, etc. and defend it with religious texts are interpreting the texts incorrectly.  Maher maintained that the problem is that they are interpreting the texts accurately and went on to cite passages to prove his point. Carter trumped him when he said “I go back to what Jesus said and did.”  (So Carter is pretty much saying he reads his Bible selectively, ignoring the parts he doesn’t agree with.)  But it was enough to get Maher to say “Jesus was a good guy” and to change the subject.

The panel was pretty well behaved tonight.  Even Rick Lazio (former Congressman R, NY) got me to thinking that he wasn’t so bad.  Then he would add the “but” and that killed my good feelings for me. “The government is not doing a single thing to help the inner city.” So far so good.  Then he adds, “At least Ryan is talking about poverty.”  Yes Ryan talked about it, blaming poverty on the poor.

Neera Tanden, president of the Center for American Progress, had to set Lazio straight.  She said, “We should unite around solutions, not just blame people.”

Maher had a trick up his sleeve. He read a quote that sounded not too different from what Ryan had said and then announced that it was a quote for Michelle Obama.  W. Kamau Bell, the third panelist, a comedian and star of the TV series Totally Biased, who happens to be black, explained it.  He said that it was about the audience.  Michelle was talking to black people and “Black people talk differently to each other when you [white people] are not around.”  I say there was another difference—intent and context. Ryan was talking to white people castigating black people for laziness; Michelle was talking to black people urging them to do better for themselves.

Bell also stated that you can’t blame poor people for not working when they live in an area where there are no jobs, the schools suck, the hospitals suck, there are no grocery stores, and all the dads are in jail. In other words, In other words, change the inner cities and the people will change themselves.

Another topic was the Boston Marathon bombing.  Maher announced that it was the anniversary of that terrible event. He then showed a picture of the Boston police force marching down the street dressed in riot gear and accompanied by tanks.  “Who knew that Boston had an army?” he said. Maher said that we have police forces that act like armies all over the country. “An army that sustains itself on plunder.” He was presumably referring to the seizure of assets that occurs with drug busts.

Maher next brought up the Russian man, Ibragin Todashev, who was associated with the Tsaraev brothers who did the bombings and who is alleged to have committed a triple murder. We may never know for sure because the FBI shot him. Lazio defended the shooting, saying the guy flipped out and threw a table.  Maher correctly pointed out that we don’t know what happened since the only witnesses are the men who did the shooting and, in any event, killing the man was an excessive response.

Maher brought up “the corporations are people” issues.  They are people only when they want to be.  Hobby Lobby claims a religious exemption from providing health care coverage that includes contraceptives for women because a company, like a person, can have religious beliefs.  Lazio says, “I’m pro-choice.” So I’m liking him. Then he adds, “A closely held corporation, run by a family, is different” and is entitled to an exemption. So now I’m back to disliking him. Tanden has to set him straight once again.  “Why is it about religious freedom for the employer, why not religious freedom for the employees? Do corporations get to make religious decisions for all of us?

Corporations also don’t want to be treated like people when they destroy the economy and ruin people’s lives. No one on Wall Street was punished. They also don’t want to be treated like people when they kill people.  Like GM being slow to announce a recall of cars with faulty ignition switches. Over 300 people died. Maher said, “Corporations are killing us a little more slowly.”  I think he meant less directly compared to FBI agents with guns.

Another important issue discussed in the show was the killing of the oceans.  The search for the missing Malaysia jet turned up no jet wreckage but lot’s of garbage. Maher said, “We have turned the ocean into a porta potty. We are killing the ocean—radiation from Fukishima, oil slicks, fishing on the verge of collapse--and it is going to kill us if we don’t fix it. We need the ocean to live.  Agreement all around.  We are killing the ocean slowly.

The mid show guest was the actor Josh Gad, the voice-over star of Frozen.  He told us the movie has made over a billion dollars.  “It is a license to print money.” 

I recently saw Frozen and I have a problem with the hidden message of this movie: Girls rule and boys drool.  Once Disney movies portrayed girls as helpless just waiting for a man to come and save them, like Cinderella and Snow White.  Then the male and female roles became a little more equal—Aladdin and Jasmine were equal partners in their adventures.  Then the pendulum swung too far evidently when Disney realized that princesses were a financial bonanza.  The princesses in Frozen don’t need any men.  The “hero” in the show, Kristof, is an oaf, a fixer-upper (there’s a song about it), who has to be whipped into shape by Princess Elsa. Even then he is a bumbler who can’t rescue Elsa’s sister, Anna--Elsa has to do the job herself. The other men in the show are “Prince Hans”, a villain who acts like “Prince Charming” but only want to marry Elsa for money and position, and Olaf, a funny little snowman, sort of a pet.

By the way, little girls are desperate to have Princess Elsa dresses.  Disney can’t make them fast enough so some people are buying them on the Internet for $1,500.  And that is not t worse part. The worst part is that the retail price is $150—$150 for a dress or a little girl.

The mid-show comedy segment was funny. It seems there is a crack epidemic in Vermont, which also happens to be the home of “Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream.”  So Maher renamed some Ben & Jerry’s flavors.

 

• Chunky Junky
•  Late Night Smack
• Grubby Hubby         
• Needles and Cream           
•  Robert Brownie, Jr.

In New Rules, in a segment called “Left Behind,” Maher railed against Democrats for always having talking points that begin with an apology. For instance, they are always saying the ACA needs to be fixed. Polls show that people are overwhelming in favor of the basic components of the act. Democrats should be proud to own ObamaCare. This is the “can-I-get-an-amen” moment of the week.

Maher cracked, “Sarah Palin and Rick Santorum said ObamaCare would kill children.  No, you are thinking about assault rifles.”

Maher brought the show full circle back to Jimmy Carter, saying “And they should be proud to own Jimmy Carter. A failed presidency?  By whose standards?  We may have had a bad economy, but you know what we didn’t have—a war!  And he was the last president to ask for shared sacrifice. Another “can-I-get-an amen” moment of the week.

Maher finished with, “Carter put solar panels on the White House roof.  Regan tore them down because he thought the sun was interfering with Nancy’s astrology.”

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HBO's Real Time with Bill Maher # 284 "Crazy Town"

by Catherine Giordano

HBO aired episode 284 of "Real Time with Bill Maher" on Friday May 31, 2013.

The interview was with Michael Isikoff, national investigative correspondent for NBC News. A new documentary film, War On Whistle Blowers, is based on his reporting.

The panel included James Poulos from Huffington Post Live, Neera Tanden, president of Center for American Progress, and Paul Rudnick, humorist and author of the young adult novel, Gorgeous.

Speaking of gorgeous, the special guest was Brit Marling, actress and screen writer who stars in a new movie, The East, who is absolutely gorgeous.   

The title of this review, "Crazy Town", is a reference to Michelle Bachmann. In the opening monologue, Bill talked about her decision not to run for re-election. "In the battle between Crazy Town and reality, reality won.  He quipped that Bachmann's next job was going to be as a model for the before picture in a tranquilizer ad as a picture of Bachmann's googly-eyed face appeared on screen.

Bill had another great zinger. This one was for John McCain. Bill reported that John McCain went to Syria over the Memorial Day weekend.  Referring to McCain’s frequent visits to war zones, he described McCain as “the Where’s Waldo of War.”

And, of course, Bill had to do a riff on the mayor of Toronto who was caught on tape smoking crack. That guy is a joke waiting to happen.

Bill mentioned the other white powder in the news--ricin. It was sent to Obama in the mail. “Do they think Obama opens his own mail?” These Obama haters are so stupid. I saw on the news that they arrested the guy who did it. He is going to get a long prison sentence for his stupidity.

Michael Isikoff spoke about whistle blowers. He noted that the people at the top leak for their own purposes with impunity, but when the people at the bottom leak they get prosecuted. The question for all of us is are we better or worse off for knowing these things.

Bill took time during the panel discussion to rail against McCain—and McCain deserves it in my opinion. Bill suggested that we imagine the hell there would be to pay if we had a Republican president and a Democratic senator had gone on a rogue mission.  “McCain never met a war he didn’t want in on,” Bill said. I agree. It was one reason why it was so important that he did not become president.

The panel also discussed health care.  It seems that in the states that want Obamacare to work, it is working very well. It reminds me of the recount in Florida for Bush/Gore.  The counties that wanted the recount to work accomplished it easily and swiftly, while the counties that were headed by Republicans pretended it was an impossible task.   

Tanden pointed out that health insurance rates were coming down due to competition. Poulos said the new law wouldn’t work and “it was like nuking a mosquito.”  The rest of the panel ganged up on him for this stupid comment.

Bill pointed out the problem with Obamacare is not too much socialism, but too much capitalism. Any kinks in the law will get ironed out. He reminded everyone that Medicare was not that popular at first; it needed a few tweaks, and now it is a very popular program that works well.

Bill did a comedy segment about “fregans,” people who reject consumerism and live off the grid. They obtain food for themselves by “dumpster diving.”  So Bill did the “Zagat’s Guide to Dumpsters”—a parody of the popular restaurant guide. I liked the one he did for Chez Maison. “It’s not garbage,” he said, “it’s gar-bahage, giving the word a French pronounciation.  “The food is marinated in white wine just like the guy in the alley,” Bill added.

This segment was a nice lead-in to the appearance of Brit Marlin, whose new movie The East is about a group of eco-terrorists who live off the grid. Their creed is to take waste and turn into bounty. Their anti-corporate acts of terrorism raise the question: How far is too far?. I haven’t seen the movie, but it sounds like this band of off-the-gridders get to create a Crazy Town all their own.

Bill veered off into a discussion about how the new pope, Pope Francis, might be an atheist. Bill reported that the Pope said :”The Lord will redeem all of us, even the atheist.” This was the “from-your-lips-to-God’s-ears” moment of the week. Bill said that when he was making his movie Religulous he discovered that many non-believers hold high office in the church—they stay in the church because they want to help people. Rudnick added that the pope said he falls asleep during prayers, and said “he’s my kind of guy.”

They discussed how Wolfe Blitzer while interviewing an Oklahoma tornado survivor said “I guess you just thank the Lord.” The woman said that, actually she “did not thank the Lord, but she did not blame those who do.” Blitzer just assumed. I always hate it when people claim that the deity saved them from a natural disaster. How are the families of those who did not survive suppose to feel when they hear that? Their loved ones weren’t good enough?    

In New Rules, Bill did “Reefer Gladness” about how pot is the new gay marriage—the next civil rights issue. He said that medical marijuana was “don’t ask, don’t tell” for pot smokers. He got serious when he spoke about how three-fourths of a million people are arrested for pot each year. Blacks are seven times more likely to get arrested, and this is one way to suppress the black vote. A simple pot conviction can ruin someone’s life. Given these facts, Bill did not think that Obama’s joke about “buzzfeed” during the Correspondents Dinner was funny. He said, Obama evolved on gay marriage, but he got stricter on pot.

In my opinion, America is like “Crazy Town” all too often with its nutty politicians, its religiosity, and its selectively enforced laws against victimless crimes.

Brit Marling

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