2015 Bill Maher #365 09/25/15 "Screwed Up"

From the mouths of babes

by Catherine Giordano

It was a very screwy week and it gave rise to lots of jokes and discussion on HBO’s Real Time with Bill Maher, episode 365, which aired on Friday, September 25, 2015. Here is the review and recap.

Pope Francis comes to town:

Pope Francis has come to town and he has been just terrific. He shows himself to be a wise and humble man who will use his influence to help create a better world for all mankind. I’m no fan of religion (and Bill Maher certainly isn’t one either), but if we have to have religion, all our religious leaders should be like Pope Francis.

Maher said “The Pope came to Washington and cast out John Boehner."  He was referencing the fact the John Boehner announced that he would resign from Congress at the end of October. Maher warned the audience not to be so happy because “This is the Republican Party and it always gets worse.” Boehner screwed this up real bad, but the new leadership will be worse. “The Tea Party hated John Boehner. They said he was slowly destroying Washington and they wanted him to pick up the pace.” With Boehner out of their way, expect things to get worse.

Maher said, “It was all Pope all the time. The last time a man in a dress got this much attention, it was Caitlyn Jenner. “

The Pope gets a lot of criticism from Republicans. He has spoken out against everything they stand for--their economic agenda, their stance on immigration, their oppression of minorities, their denial of climate change, etc. But at least the Pope agrees with them on the so-called “social issues”—gay marriage, abortion, etc. Except the Pope has not mentioned those issues during his visit.

During his speech to Congress, he mentioned the words, “sanctity of all life.” The Republicans rose to their feet with a giant cheer. But the Pope never mentioned abortion as they obviously thought he would—instead he told them that the death penalty was immoral and must be abolished. (The United States is one of the few countries that still has capital punishment.) Maher said that the Pope gave Congress a “master class in reality.”

Maher pointed out that six of the Supreme Court Justices are Catholic, but only three of those Catholics attended the speech. They were Roberts, Kennedy, and Sotomayor. (The other three—Alito, Scalia, and Thomas decided to forgo the opportunity to meet the Pope.) Even Jewish Ruth Bader Ginsberg was there. (The other two who chose not to attend were Breyer and Kagan who are Jewish.) I don’t know why those three Catholics did not attend—they each speak of their religious faith often—but it looks like it was intended as an insult to the Pope.

John Cleese, comedian, writer, actor, author of several books including his autobiography So, Anyway… (now available in paperback) was part of the famous sketch comedy troupe, Monty Python. Cleese pointed out that Jesus said nothing about abortion.

Maher joked that the Pope met with other religious leaders and said that we all have something in common—“The belief in some form of utter nonsense.” Later Maher said, “The Life of Brian-- here is not a thing to be said about religion that has not been better said in that movie.” (This reference to the Monty Python movie was a nod to panel member John Cleese.) When Maher said that this Pope has said that even atheists can go to heaven, Cleese quipped, “Will they have to become Catholic after they die?”

  

Ron Reagan, MSNBC political analyst, contributor to the nationally syndicated radio program Both Sides Now, well-known atheist, author, and son of President Ronald Reagan. (His book is My Father at 100: A Memoir.) Reagan said that “Catholics are terrified of women. Cleese said, “They hate sex.” Reagan referred to a Bible story: If angels come to your house and people want to rape them, offer them your daughters instead.”

Maher said, “Religion is dangerous and screwed up.” [I’m using a euphemism here.]

  

The Interview:

The interview was with Dr. Jane Goodall, primatologist, ethnologist, anthropologist, founder of the Jane Goodall Institute, UN Messenger of Peace and author. She recently wrote the foreword to Steven Druker’s book, Altered Genes, Twisted Truth about the FDA’s compliance with the GMO industry. She has written several books, including My Life with the Chimpanzees. Her most recent book is Seeds of Hope: Wisdom and Wonder from the World of Plants.. She began her pioneering studies of chimpanzees in the wild in 1960 and has since become one of the world’s most prominent advocates for endangered species and the environment.

The Pope would have approved of Jane Goodall’s message about protecting the environment. The extinction of species, the polluting of the oceans and the destruction of the forests and GMO are all serious issues, but Goodall managed to bring humor to the situation. She brought a small stuffed toy cow to the interview to illustrate the point about “cow farts” and how the methane they release is contributing to excess carbon dioxide in our atmosphere.

Goodall also spoke about big game hunting and Cecil the Lion. This is not culling the herd because they don’t hunt the weak and the old; they kill the biggest strongest animals in their prime. She agreed with Maher that these killers are compensating for their “small penis.”

Presidential politics:

S. E. Cupp, CNN commentator, nationally syndicated columnist and author of several books, including Losing Our Religion: The Liberal Media's Attack on Christianity. She choose to be the voice of the moderate Republicans, although I have heard her spout many of the crazier Republican talking points sounding like she has a screw loose.

Cupp defended Scott Walker who dropped out of the Republican race this week. She said, “In this Republican party if your hair is not on fire, you are not conservative enough. Walker who vowed not to engage in personal attacks clearly could not survive in the environment of Donald Trump and Ben Carson.” She singled out Ben Carson, saying, “Carson fails to sound like a scientist or a doctor.” I can’t argue with her on that one.  

Cleese said, “You need an intelligent electorate.” Maher added that “When people don’t know anything, you can say anything. They are a tabula rosa.” Cleese lamented “with what we have now, it is the end of democracy.”

Mid-Show comedy: Volkswagen

Volkswagen screws up.

The big scandal of the week was Volkswagen lying about meeting EPA emission standards. Cleese has become quite the cynic. He said “Everyone lies all the time. It’s hopeless.”

Maher said, “Even by the standards of Corporate malfeasance, this is shocking.” He then gave us some parodies of old Volkswagen ads. 

• The first name in clouds of poison gas.
• Touareg—It’s German for asthma.
• We call it the rabbit because we can’t stop screwing you.
• We made a green car that pollutes… and people say Germans aren’t funny.

Mid-Show special guest:

Spike Feresten is a comedian, car collector, and host of Esquire Network's Car Matchmaker with Spike Feresten. He said that Volkswagen owners are really screwed. because their cars will not pass the emissions tests in California (an elsewhere). They won’t be able to drive them. They won’t be able to sell them.

Feresten said the Volkswagen cars “emit nitrous oxide and that is really bad stuff. It affects the lungs; it causes asthma.” Maher said that Republicans hate regulations, but “if it wasn’t for the EPA we wouldn’t know about this.” This happened because the EPA didn’t have the resources to do the emissions test themselves. They told the car manufacturers, “You do them and let us know the results.”

Maher asked him about driverless cars. He likes driving and doesn’t want to be made to use a driverless car. Feresten told him it was about safety. Car accidents are the number four cause of death in the United States.

Ahmed and the clock bomb:

It appears that Ahmed Mohamed did not invent anything. He took the guts out of a clock and claimed he had invented it. Maher said, “It is like pouring Cheerios into a bowl and saying that you invented cereal.”

What did Cleese say? Everyone lies.

New Rules: Crush to Judgment:

What do Kim Davis, Joe the Plumber, and Cliven Bundy all have in common? The right rushes to call them “a real American.” And then “they turn out to be a creep.” 

• Kim Davis is "Joan of Arc for the deep fried Twinkie crowd. Her answer to 'what would Jesus do?' Everybody."

For more about Kim Davis, read: Kim Davis Satirical Memes Photo Album

• Cliven Bundy, “the not so jolly rancher, said ‘one thing I know about the Negro …” and “that was the end of open mic night at the OK corral.” He was just a guy who didn’t want to pay for grazing his cattle on government land as other ranchers did. Maher summed it up “If you get your grass free from the government, I want my grass free from the government too."  
•  Joe the Plumber who didn’t want to pay high taxes on his business did not own a business, was not a plumber, and his name was not Joe. Bill added “I’m not kidding.”
•  Maher even threw in George Zimmerman, “The free lance defender of the cul de sac.” Since his acquittal for the murder of Trayvon Martin “has had more contact with the police than Dunkin' Donuts.” 

But all of the above was just a warm up for his main target, Josh Duggar, one of the stars from the reality show, 19 Kids and Counting. “His mother’s womb is called ‘Old Faithful.’”

Duggar became a lobbyist for the Family Research Council, the sanctimonious group who wants to promote their version of “family values.” It turns out that Josh had two Ashley Madison accounts, had paid a porn star for rough sex, and has molested his sisters. Maher concluded, “or was that just family research?’

I can’t blame Cleese for being cynical. It is a screwed up world that we live in.

Bill Maher’s Guests: September 25, 2015

  

The Interview:

 Dr. Jane Goodall: Primatologist, ethnologist, anthropologist, founder of the Jane Goodall Institute, UN Messenger of Peace and author. She recently wrote the foreword to Steven Druker’s book, Altered Genes, Twisted Truth: How the Venture to Genetically Engineer Our Food Has Subverted Science, Corrupted Government, and Systematically Deceived the Public. She has written several books, including My Life with the Chimpanzees. Her most recent book is Seeds of Hope: Wisdom and Wonder from the World of Plants. She began her pioneering studies of chimpanzees in the wild in 1960 and has since become one of the world’s most prominent advocates for endangered species and the environment.

Mid-Show special guest:

Spike Feresten: Comedian, car collector, and host of Esquire Network's Car Matchmaker with Spike Feresten.

The Panel:

John Cleese: Comedian, writer, actor, author of several books including his autobiography So, Anyway… (now available in paperback). He was part of the famous TV show Monty Python and the Flying Circus. Cleese and Monty Python co-founder Eric Idle will spend October on tour with their new show, John Cleese & Eric Idle: Together Again At Last…For The Very First Time.

Ron Reagan: Author, MSNBC political analyst, contributor to the nationally syndicated radio program Both Sides Now, well-known atheist, and son of President Ronald Reagan. His book is My Father at 100: A Memoir. Reagan recently appeared in a television commercial for the Freedom From Religion Foundation that was banned by several networks.

S. E. Cupp: CNN commentator, nationally syndicated columnist and author of several books, including Losing Our Religion:The Liberal Media's Attack on Christianity

Real Time with Bill Maher #348 03/27/15 "In a Blather"

S. E. Cupp .

by Catherine Giordano

Real Time with Bill Maher, episode 348, which aired on March 27, 2014 had the guests worked up into lather, or was it blather on some subjects.

Mike Huckabee

The interview was with Mike Huckabee, former governor (R, AK), ordained Baptist minister, and author of several books. His most recent book is God, Guns, Grits, and Gravy. Usually, I only see Huckabee in a lip on MSNBC so I see him at his blathering worst. In this interview, Huckabee come across as a nice guy. Of course, he was working to create that impression; he knew the make-up of Maher’s audience, and he stayed away from any of his inflammatory opinions. Instead he was mild and folksy.

• “When we cuss we become coarse and that becomes our attitude towards other people.”
• “Free speech must also be responsible speech.”
• “In the south, gravy is a beverage.”
• “I am not blueblood; I am blue collar.”
• “I got support from working class people, not just from religious people.”

The 2016 Election

The panel picked up this discussion when Maher introduced the topic of the evangelical vote. He said “Bubbaville is not who America is today.”

Barney Frank




The challenge for Republicans is that there are too many factions in the party. It is hard for one candidate to unite the party. S.E. Cupp, conservative political commentator and columnist, said, “You can’t win when you alienate half f your party.”

Barney Frank is a former Representative (D, MA), and the author of several books. His latest book is Frank: A Life in Politics from the Great Society to Same-Sex Marriage. He has an opinion on everything and expresses those opinions forthrightly. Frank said, “Hillary is a consensus candidate.” 

S.E. Cupp insisted Hillary needs primary opponents—the interest generated by a primary will turn people out for the general election. I find it so interesting the Republicans are continually giving advice to the Democrats on how to win. They are gearing up for a three-ring circus of primaries with 10, 15, or even 20 candidates duking it out like spiders in a cage. They sound envious of the Democrats more orderly path to the nominating convention.  

Frank was ready with a retort. “You know who will turn people out for Hillary—the Republican candidate.” That cut through the blather. 

Ted Cruz

So far the only candidate who has actually announced that he is running for the Republican presidential nomination is Ted Cruz. (Notwithstanding that Jeb Bush is holding scads of fundraisers and pulling in umpteen million dollars at each one, he has not actually announced. He is still just “exploring.”) 

Maher described Ted Cruz, who was born in Canada to a Cuban father, as having the “gravitas of Justin Beiber” (another Canadian) and” the people skills of Scarface (a character played by Al Pacino in the movie, Scarface, about a Cuban immigrant gangster.) This quip was Maher at his best. 



Zachary-Quinto

The panel discussed Ted Cruz’ response to a reporter about what kind of music he likes. Maher told us that Ted Cruz replied that he used to like rock and roll but on 9/11 he changed to country music. Zachary Quinto, an actor known from the TV series, Heroes, and for playing Dr. Spock in some of the Star Trek movies, dismissed this as “pandering. Frank said, “Tell them what they want to hear, but try not to tell them something they won’t believe.” 
 

Jay Famiglietti and the Water Crisis

Jay Famiglietti is a professor of earth sciences (hydrology and climate) at University of California, Irvine and also works at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory as the Senior Water Cycle Scientist. He said the water crisis is much worse than people know. The drought in California has lasted four years. When it doesn’t rain, the reservoirs are a backup, but now the reservoirs are running out of water.  

Maher said people get scared about the wrong things. “Running out of water—no reaction. Plane goes down—everyone freaking out.” Quinto said, “If you don’t feel it isn’t real” Frank said, “People react when there is a specific identifiable victim.” Maher pointed out that people are more likely to die from antibiotic-resistant bacteria than from a psycho pilot. [I will add ebola. People worked themselves into a lather thinking it was the number one health threat to America not too long ago, but it was always very unlikely to become epidemic in the United States.]  

Last Call at the Oasis

For more information on the water crisis read Last Call at the Oasis (paperback) or view the documentary of the same name, Last Call at the Oasis (on dvd.) Famiglietti is a contributor.

Mid-show-comedy segment: Water Conservation Guide

Maher showed an actual water conservation guide which discussed such water saving measures as wait staff not bring a glass of water to the table unless the diner asks for it and hotels not washing towels unless the guest asks for it. He had a few suggestions of his own.

• Get a masochist to lick your car clean
• When the DEA is at your door, make sure you have thrown your entire stash in the toilet before flushing
• Instead of the ice bucket challenge, just give the money to charity

Middle East War

Maher segued into a segment about the Middle Eastern wars by saying that some people capitalize on irrational fears, seeing it as an opportunity to do what they already want to do. Dick Cheney seized on 9/11 to go to war with Iraq.  

Cupp immediately interjected, “Both sides do it.”  

Ever notice how Republicans are always saying “both sides do it” whenever someone brings up wrongdoing by a Republican. Sometimes they don’t even have any justification for saying it. It is a knee-jerk response. I can’t recall Democrats saying that. When a Democrat does something wrong, other Democrats usually pile on. Look how many jumped on Hillary Clinton on the trumped-up email scandal before it was shown that there was nothing nefarious there. I think Republicans were howling because they were desperate to get their hands on some personal email that they could use to embarrass Hillary Clinton. 

 

S.E. Cupp Brought the Crazy

S.E. Cupp did not want to discuss how the Iraq War has led to the current dangerous mess in the Middle East by destabilizing the region and ramping up hatred for the West. [I can’t keep it straight anymore. Iran is our friend in the fight against ISIS but our enemy in the fight against Yemen.]  

Anyway, Cupp didn’t want to talk about it, so she compared it to being pregnant. “When you’re pregnant there is nothing you can do about it…You are going to have a baby whether you want it or not, so you have to decide on what you are going to do about it.“ Her comments were so out of place, I had to google her to try to understand why she was saying this. Sure enough she was pregnant in 2014, and evidently talking like she was the first woman ever to be pregnant. I couldn’t tell if she wanted the baby or not, but she was blathering a lot about pregnancy last year. Everyone on the show politely ignored her blathering.  

New Rules: The Italian Jab

“The designers Dolce and Gabanna said even though they are proudly gay, when it comes to making a bambino they don’t approve of synthetics because they just don’t breathe (or was it breed) like cotton.” So now all the liberals are outraged and refusing to buy their clothes. Maher questioned if we should get outraged over two men who “bedazzle cod-pieces for a living." 

Maher wants the liberals to calm down. This is one of his pet peeves. He does not like political correctness. He’s done this bit so many times before. He is right, but I’m tired of him blathering about it.  

Part of it was funny. 

• Vegans vs. vegetarians: Cheese eater. Burn him 
• Atheists vs. agnostics: Do you believe in a talking snake? Me neither. We’re on the same team.

The last bit was about a performance of The Vagina Monologues was cancelled because the play does not include the transgender experience. Maher, said, “I’m sorry. If you are a transgender and you can’t handle The Vagina Monologues, (available as book and on DVD) you don’t need a vagina. You are already a giant pussy.”

 

Bill Maher’s Guests, episode 348, March 27, 2015

Mike Huckabee: Former governor (R, AK), ordained Baptist minister, and author of several books. His most recent book is God, Guns, Grits, and Gravy

Jay Famiglietti: Professor of earth sciences (hydrology and climate) at University of California, Irvine and also works at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory as the Senior Water Cycle Scientist

Rep. Barney Frank: Former Representative (D, MA) and author of several books. His latest book is Frank: A Life in Politics from the Great Society to Same-Sex Marriage 

Zachary Quinto: Actor, known for playing Doctor Spock in two of the Star Trek movies and for his roles in the TV series, Heroes, American Horror Story, and The Slap. He evidently has quite a following because there are a number of autobiographical books about this young man, including The Zachary Quinto Handbook: Everything you need to know about Zachary Quinto 

S. E. Cupp: conservative commentator and author of Losing Our Religion: The Liberal Media's Attack on Christianity and co-author (with Brett Joshpe) of Why You're Wrong About the Right: Behind the Myths: The Surprising Truth About Conservatives She was called “the dumbest person in the history of cable television” in Esquire magazine. (At the very least, she knows how to say dumb things to advance her career.) She also claims to be an atheist and “a better atheist than Bill Maher” although she doesn’t sound like one in her book.  And she doesn't sound liker one when she says she's a "better atheist." What does that mean? She doesn't believe more than Maher doesn't believe? Atheists don't talk like that. It's religious people who criticize other members of their own religion for not being a good enough Christian, Jew, Muslim,  (fill in the blank).

HBO’s “Real Time with Bill Maher" #283 "It's a Scandal"

by Catherine Giordano

It seems like everything is a scandal these days. Scandals were the main topics of conversation on HBO’s “Real Time with Bill Maher” #283 airing on Friday, May 17, 2013.  In addition to the ones that the news media are all abuzz about which aren’t even all that scandalous, there are other things that are truly worthy of being called a scandal.

Bill dived right into the swamp of scandals in his opening monologue. He reported that the Benghazi scandal is falling  apart—that is to say—there is no scandal. The White House emails that were supposed to be the smoking gun were faked. Republicans changed the wording of the emails when they gave them to the press.  (Now that is a scandal, actually two scandals. One, Republican Congressmen falsifying evidence, and, two, the news media not properly vetting what they were given. I seem to remember that when Dan Rather used false documents to make a case for a scandal—G. W. Bush going AWOL from the National Guard—he was fired. Who is going to get fired at ABC?)

Back to the monologue. He said that Republicans’ zeal to find a scandal and their denial of facts has gone so far that his “Republicans Inside the Bubble” comedy segments were outdated..Bill said that Republicans have gotten so outrageous  that they are not even in a bubble anymore. Now they are in a bouncy house.

Bill also wanted to know why there were no investigations about the 13 embassy attacks that occurred during the Bush administration. (Good question Bill-- Maybe because Democrats have a little more common sense and restraint than Republicans.)

Bill moved on to the IRS scandal. He said, “In wingnut world, Obama told his Negro party and the Black panthers to meet in the park with IRS guys to target conservative groups.” Personally, I don’t see what all the fuss is about. At worst, a few IRS agents may have been overzealous in doing their jobs. They are supposed to check out groups applying for tax-exempt status to make sure they are not too political.  (None of them were denied tax-exempt status—the only complaint was that the process was onerous. Bill said that the scandal began when some of the right wing groups complained about long delays.  “Like black people trying to vote in Florida,” Bill said.

Here’s the real scandal—the IRS is ignoring the wording of the statue governing these 501c groups that says the activities of these group must be exclusively to promote social welfare.  The IRS determined that “exclusively” meant ”primarily” and left the hapless IRS agents to figure out what “primarily” means. The second scandal here is that the Obama administration caved and fired the director of the IRS even though the events in question happened under the former director’s, a Bush appointee’s, term.  (Remember back when Shirley Sherrod got fired for making racist comments in a speech. It was fire first and investigate later. It turned out that her remarks were exactly the opposite of racist. For once, could the Obama administration show a little spine and investigate first.)  

The interview was with Richard Haass, president of The Council on Foreign Relations and the author of “Foreign Policy Begins at Home.”  He discussed the scandal of political dysfunction in Washington. Bill mentioned that the House just voted to repeal Obamacare for the 37^th time. Boehner called for this vote so the new members would have a chance to vote against it. Bill sounded very exasperated when he asked if Congress had become “The Make-A-Wish Foundation.”  Wasting time and taxpayer money on meaningless votes done just for show while ignoring important issues—that’s a scandal. By the way, as was discussed later in the show, Obamacare has already brought health-care costs down even though it will not even be fully implemented until 2014.

Here’s another scandal that Bill and Haass discussed—wasteful military spending.  Haass said, “It is not how much we spend, but how we spend it. We can get more defense for less money.” Bill mentioned how Congress forces the military to buy tanks that they don’t want because it means jobs in the districts of some Congressmen.  That is “pork” spending, not deficit reducing. That is a scandal.  

Haass also said that the real problem is not defense spending, but spending on Social Security and Medicare. This is the “You-have-now-lost-my-good-opinion-of-you” moment of the week. I think that it is a scandal that some people want to “reform” these programs out of existence. I think that it is a scandal that we don’t have single-payer healthcare insurance in this country.

The panel included Michael Moore, the Oscar winning documentarian, the right wing S. E. Cupp from MSNBC’s “The Cycle” (Yes, MSNBC allows conservatives to co-host some of its shows.), and Andrew Ross Sorkin a journalist and financial columnist for  the New York Times and the author of “Too Big to Fail.”

The panel discussed another of the “big scandals”—the A.P. Scandal. The CIA foiled a terrorist plot. Information was leaked to the AP that endangered the informant that was key to foiling the plot. The government wanted to find out who was responsible for the leak. The government did not do anything illegal and they did not listen in on any conversations. They only sought to find out who AP reporters were talking to in the hopes of deducing the source of the leak. Bill said that “We all gave up privacy ten years ago and the Republicans loved it. Why are they outraged now?”

Cupp gave a knee-jerk right-wing response: “Turn it around. Why aren’t liberals pissed now?” Cupp, you are wrong!  A lot of liberals are pissed about it and saying so very loudly.  Michael Moore promptly said, “I’m pissed.”  He then went on to say that the press did not question “the weapons of mass destruction” claim during the run-up to the Iraq war. He seemed to imply that they did not report when they should have been reporting, but now they are all pissy about being called out for revealing classified information that endangered our country’s ability to combat terrorism.

During the discussion about how health care costs and Medicare costs were coming down, Cupp suddenly lost it.  “No,’ she screeched practically jumping out of her chair, “It’s a ticking time bomb.” She did not present any evidence to support this claim. Up until this point she had spoken calmly, but now it was like some switch had been thrown, she continued to screech for the remainder of the show.  (During Overtime, she did not speak, but she rolled her eyes when others spoke.)

In a discussion, about reforming gun laws, Bill said that we need a gun registry. Moore seconded it. He said, “We register our dogs, yet we don’t say Obama is coming for our dogs.” (I would also add that you can hardly get any job in the United States anymore without a background check, so why should people be ale t buy again without a background check.) Cupp went berserk, screeching, “They assume I have criminal intent.  It’s an abuse of power.” The audience groaned.

Moore followed up, “If you have a dangerous device that can kill 20 children, we need to know where that device lives.”  (Low blow, Moore, bringing up the kids, but effective.) Bill added, “We should follow the framer’s intent. Everyone can have a musket. Cupp was practically foaming at the mouth at this point. “Mass shootings are down in the last 30 years,” she screeched.  Everyone just stared at her because apparently, like me, they found that hard to believe. I’ve been around for the last 30 years, and I seem to recall that mass shootings were a rarity. Now it feels like we have several every year. Maybe Cupp was including military deaths during WW II in her statistics.

Another scandal is the sequester and the Republicans apparent determination to ruin the American economy. Sorkin pointed out that the sequester had slowed the economy.  (And I will add, that we have not yet felt the full blow.) Why do they do things that hurt the economic recovery?  Moore said, “They hate America.” I thought he was kidding, but he meant it. As I think about it, I think he is right. They do hate the foundational principle of America: “government of the people, by the people, for the people.” Their policies are those of an aristocracy, government for the rich and powerful.

The mid-show guest was Zach Galifianakis, and actor best known for The Hangover movies (three of them so far.)  He addition to being a movie star, Galifianakis apparently also calls himself a farmer. “I have three donkeys and a blueberry bush,” he said.

In New Rules, Bill talked about the “Rice Capades.” He said, Susan Rice used talking points, but at least they weren’t written on her hand.  Benghazi was starting to sound like the name of a monster in an Asian horror movie. The difference between furor over Benghazi and a car alarm was that sometimes a car alarm indicates an actual crime.  Nixon ran a burglary ring out of the White House. Reagan traded arms with actual terrorists. Bush made Colin Powel go to the UN with props turning a war hero into Carrot Top. But Republicans think that Benghazi is the worst scandal in American History! 

I think he should have ended New Rules right there, because the remainder seemed anti-climatic to me. “What about the bogus talking points from Republicans on climate change?”  Bill concluded, “The Obama administration isn’t dirty, the air it.” Bill’s point about climate change was important point that should have preceded the list of Republican scandals.

I conclude with this observation:  There are plenty of scandals to be talked about, and the news media is not talking about the really important ones. 

The hydra-headed scandal monster.
This is a  stereographic  drawing by Dain Fagerholm

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HBO “Real Time with Bill Maher” #266 “It’s Odd”

By Catherine Giordano

Last week Bill Maher said that if Obama is elected America wins and if Romney is elected comedy wins. Well Obama was elected and America won, but comedy is still alive and well on HBO’s “Real Time with Bill Maher.” The episode airing on 11/09/2012, episode 266, had lots of great comedy moments. I’m going to name this episode “It’s Odd.” Read on, and you’ll see why.  

Bill began with a funny monologue. (Actually doesn’t everything seem funnier now that the pall of a Republican win no longer hovers over us?)  Bill said “Mormon has broken and we are black in the saddle again.”  Puns may be the lowest form of humor, but this one rocked. 

Talking about Mormons, Romney got a lower percentage of the Mormon vote than Bush did. Romney also lost all of his home states (Massachusetts where he currently lives, Michigan where he grew up, New Hampshire where he has a summer home, and California where he has another home.) As has been stated many times, the people who know Romney best, like him least.  P.S. He also lost Paul Ryan's home state of Wisconsin. It's odd when candidates lose their home states.

Bill also made a joke about the Secret Service dropping protection as soon as the election was called. Romney arrived in a 15-car Secret Service motorcade, and went home in the back seat of his son’s car.  

OK, now I’m just piling on. Buh Buh bye, Romney. I hope he finally disappears from public life--maybe goes to live with his money in the Cayman Islands--so I never have to look at his ugly face again. Yes, I know, he has movie-star good-looks, but he has an ugly soul. Somewhere, in an attic someplace, a Dorian Gray-like portrait shows him looking like something from “The Crypt.”    

The interview was with Mason Tvert the co-director of “The Campaign to Regulate Marijuana like Alcohol.” Marijuana won on election night too. Several states, including Colorado, have moved marijuana closer to full legality. Mason told Bill to make a generous donation to his group (referencing Bill’s $1 million dollar donation to Obama) and he would move to California and make MJ totally legal there. Bill promised to do so.  Medical marijuana is already legal in California, but people shouldn’t have to come up with medical conditions just because they want to get high.  

In Colorado, the marijuana referendum got more votes than Obama did. Maybe Obama got elected on marijuana’s coattails. 

The panel included Andrew Sullivan, who writes The Dish’ for the “The Daily Beast”. Sullivan is an odd duck. He describes himself as a political conservative, but he is increasingly at odds with the Republican party. He’s a Catholic, but he is also openly gay.  

Another panelist, James Carville, a Democratic political strategist and CNN contributor is not so much an odd duck as just plain odd. He’s a funny guy, a fierce Democrat, and he speaks his mind straight out. 

The third panelist was S. E. Cupp. a columnist for the New York Daily News and is a co-host for the “The Cycle” on MSNBC. This woman just has odd opinions. For instance, on “Overtime” she said that Obama has the same foreign policy as Bush and that Obama’s actions in Libya (where we had no boots on the ground) equates to Bush’s undeclared war in Iraq. Everybody started yelling at once when she said that, and any hope for reasoned debate was gone. It’s odd, isn’t it, how conservatives always say the most outrageous things in order to avoid serious debate. I do not like this woman. I wonder if she has a portrait in an attic someplace.  

Talking about outrageous statements from conservatives, consider this one from Bill O’Reilly, a Fox News host. Maher mentioned that O’Reilly commented on Obama’s win by saying “50% of the people in this country want stuff.”  And the Democrats promise to give them stuff.” (He was echoing Romney’s infamous 47% comment and the Republican “takers vs. makers” comments.)  “Yeah”, Bill said, referencing ObamaCare, “they don’t want their little girl to die of leukemia.”  Bill went on to point out an odd fact: The blues states (where “the takers” supposedly live) subsidize the red states. Yes, the blue states pay more in taxes than they get back in federal aid, while the reverse is true in the red states. 

Andrew Sullivan pointed out that health care was originally a Republican idea.  He described Republicans as “completely nuts.”  

The talk turned to reproductive rights and Todd Akin. Andrew Sullivan said that Catholics believe human life starts at conception.  Bill interjected, “At erection!”  

Cupp said that the Democrats message to women is that they can’t survive without government.  Again, Cupp was being so outrageous that everyone started screaming at her, and she just kept talking louder and shriller. Bill had to interrupt and change the subject. 

James Carville pointed out that “Never have so few, spent so much to effect so few.”  He was referring to the hundreds of millions that Repubican billionaires donated to Super Pacs and how just about none of their candidates won. They got about a 1% return on their investment. Obama won, the Dems gained 2 seats in the Senate and a bunch of house seats. Republicans retained control of the House only because of gerrymandering. 

This was a great segue for Bill’s “In Memorium” segment.  He ran through the list of the politically “deceased”—McMahon, Morris, Koch Brothers, Murdock, Walsh, West, Sununu, the dressage horse, Brown, Akin, the empty chair, Trump, Rove, Romney-- and ended with “Farewell Douchebags.”  This was the “you-had-to-be-there” moment of the week. It doesn’t sound that funny when I write it, but if you watch the bit, it is hilarious.

The special guest was Samuel L. Jackson, an actor. Bill suggested that the election of Obama to a second term was even better than if he had just been elected once.  If he had not been re-elected, it would have been like saying “Ok, we tried” but it just didn’t work out.  

Cupp went to the Republican argument about the liberal media not taking the president to task. Carville retorted that Republicans never take responsibility. “Who prepped him?” he said referring to Romney. They blame Candy (the moderator of the second debate), but he stepped in it. Carville has it right. Conservatives live in “the bubble;” they refuse to believe facts (like polls), and so they lost. 

Andrew Sullivan talked about Romney and how Romney said that he knows how to run things, but Romney couldn’t even run get-out-the-vote efforts. Odd isn’t it, how this supposedly great businessman who claimed he knew how to run a country couldn’t even run a campaign. Obama was mocked for being a community organizer. True, he didn’t make a lot of money, but he learned how to get out the vote. Thank you Sullivan for saying on national TV what I have been saying throughout this campaign. Romney ran a bad convention and campaign; Obama ran his convention and campaign successfully. So who showed the country that he knew how to run things?   

Bill brought up the government report that showed that lower tax rates for the top incomes does not create jobs.  Clinton raised taxes and created 22 million jobs, GWB lowered taxes and created only 1 million jobs. (And “The Great Recession”.)  

New Rules. 

Nate Silver was right, Fox News was wrong. Next time, Fox News talks about polls, they should cut to a shot of Sarah Palin winking. 

 

Ted Nugent said that if Obama won he (Nugent) would be either dead or in jail. “Sounds like a plan to me,” Bill said.

 

Donald Trump-if you had a golden retriever who howled like that, had a mangy coat and fat deposits like that, the phrase your vet would use is, “the kindest thing to do …”

Bill closed with a riff about white people only voting for white people. Obama got only 39% of the white vote for his re-election. Obama has won an election four times. The only time he won the white vote was when he ran against another black guy. Do you find that odd?

 

 

 James Carville cracking up over a joke by Bill Maher.

 

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