Friday, February 20, 2015

Real Time with Bill Maher #344 02/20/15 "Pardon Me"

by Catherine Giordano

Pardon me, but I have to inform you about a few rather ugly things in the news this week, and I’m not even talking about terrorism (Islamic or otherwise. Bill Maher and his guests discussed some of these despicable events on Real Time with Bill Maher episode 344, which aired on February 20, 2015. 

Shoe stepping on giuliani (dog mess)
I have some giuliani on my shoe.
Giuliani: I’ve got some giuliani on my shoe.
I have to lead with Rudy Giuliani for his despicable comments this week; the ones that he should be asking pardon for, but instead he’s proud of them. He said:

“I do not believe — and I know this is a horrible thing to say — but I do not believe that the president loves America. He doesn’t love you. And he doesn’t love me. He wasn’t brought up the way you were brought up and I was brought up through love of this country.” 

Giuliani knows it is horrible, he said it—in public—anyway, and not only does he not apologize for it, he’s proud of it. 

I can’t look at that man’s face with thinking about something that needs to be scraped off the bottom of my shoe. He disgusts me that much. 

Remember santorum. Google it. Rick Santorum said some despicable things about gays, and as a result a campaign was launched to create a neologism making his name mean a disgusting substance. It came up as the first listing for many years, and it is still on the first page.

I propose that we do the same for Giuliani. As in: 
Pardon me, I’ve got to scrape this giuliani off my shoe.
Yuck, it looks like I’ve stepped in some giuliani.

Panel member, Fran Lebowitz, is a writer for Vanity Fair, humorist, public speaker, and author of several books including Tales from A Broad: An Unreliable Memoir. Lebowitz is particular noted for writing about New York City. She offered the best explanation for why Giuliani said this. She said that Giuliani earns his living now as a public speaker, and smears against Obama is what his groups want to hear. Maybe his bookings were slipping so he needed to get himself some publicity. I hope it backfires on him. After all, who wants giuliani on their speaker’s platform? It’s bad enough when you get it on your shoe.

Maher’s explanation was a joke about how Giuliani wanted love from Obama, in the carnal way. As part of a joke in his monologue, Maher read from a book he said that Giuliani had written—“50 Shades of Black.” In one scene Giuliani is alone in the oval office with Obama when Obama “reaches into his pants and pulls out his long hard black…veto pen, and waves it in Giuliani’s face. (Pardon me for repeating that very-off-color joke.)

Remember Giuliani’s short-lived campaign for the Republican nomination for president, Joe Biden said, Giuliani’s entire campaign was “a noun, a verb, and 9-11. Giuliani is still at it. He trades on the fact that he was mayor of NYC when 9-ll happened. He ignores how he was responsible for some of the deaths because he insisted on having the command center in the World Trade Center when the people responsible for security of the city wanted it to be in Brooklyn. As a result there was no command center that day. Why did he put the command Center in the World Trade Center? He did it so he would have a convenient place for trysts with his mistress.   

Giuliani is also always talking about how much he loves America. Maher said, “If America was a woman he’d move her into the mayor’s mansion while his wife was still there. (Giuliani actually did have his mistress come to live at the mayor’s mansion while his wife was still living there.) 

[If you like me have a little trouble with the spelling, remember Giuliani puts I (himself) before U (you).]  

New Rules: Doobie Brothers
Barack Obama young man
Obama as a young man
In the final New Rules segment, Doobie Brothers, Maher took on some more despicable behavior from politicians. He began by saying how stupid it was to ask potential candidates about their use of marijuana. It was shocking when Bill Clinton admitted to it; now it would be shocking if a candidate denied it. 

 “Everyone from Bill Clinton to Newt Gingrich, Al Gore to Rick Santorum, John Kerry to Sarah Palin — they have all fessed up,” he said. “Come on, when even Ted Cruz cops to it? That one surprised me, I must admit. I thought, ‘Who would get high with Ted Cruz?’”  

Now it is about the hypocrisy. Jeb Bush got singled out for being particularly hypocritical. Jeb not only smoked pot, he was a dealer in his prep school.           Jeb dismissed it by saying that he was “a cynical little turd at a cynical school.”  

This self-admitted turd is still a cynical little turd. When Jeb was governor of Florida, he instituted jail-only policies—no treatment-- for drug offenses — except in one case. Maher said, ““Except when it was your daughter, when you made an exception,” Wow, that sounds like something a cynical turd would do.” We better be careful--if Jeb gets into the oval office, he’ll be getting giuliani all over the rug.
Maher reminded us that President Obama not only smoked pot as a young man, he looked cool doing it. These presidential candidates never went to jail for the drug crimes they committed. (It helps to have “parents who are white and well-connected”, Maher said.)
Maher said that it’s time for Obama to call an end to the war on drugs and to give a pardon to all the people in prison for non-violent marijuana offenses.

In the monologue Maher said that the Academy Awards were about “movies you haven’t seen with British actors you don’t know.” Maher went on to say that each group was rooting for a different movie. The blacks are rooting for Selma, the gays are rooting for Imitation, and the Catholic Church is rooting for Boyhood. 

Later in the show, Maher mentioned that the Best Picture Oscar usually goes to the movie about a cause. He said a sure winner would be “a movie about a slave with AIDS during the Holocaust.”  

Maher did the comedy segment about the Oscars. The nominees all get swag bags. This year the swag is estimated to be worth $160,000. Maher showed us some of the actual items in the actual items in the swag bag and since the Oscars coincides with the Daytona 500 this year, he joked about the counterpart item in the Daytona 500 swag bag. For instance, at the Oscars you get a fancy face cream; at the Daytona 500 you get a jar of Bubba’s mayonnaise. The Oscars gives you an expensive weight loss treatment; the Daytona 500 gives you a bag of meth. 

The Issues

Pardon me, for even bringing these up again. I know you probably feel as much despair as I do whenever these subjects come up. 

Maher mentioned “Millennial Anger” saying that young people today are blaming the prior generations for the mess they will inherit. I can’t say I blame them--we have created problems (like ISIS) and ignored others (like climate change. 

Climate Change
Bill Nye, scientist, educator, humorist, and author of several books (including Bill Nye's Comic History of England and Undeniable: Evolution and the Science of Creation) said we have to stop talking about “climate skeptics.” The correct term is “climate denier.”

Panelist, Elahe Izadi, Journalist and reporter for The Washington Post said “Half of the Republicans now believe it.” Maher said, But not the feces-throwers and flat-earthers who vote in the primaries” which makes it political suicide for the Republican leadership refuses to acknowledge climate change.

The Mid East
We wouldn’t be having the ISIS problem if we had not invaded Iraq and removed Saddam and his Sunni regime. Panelist Rob Reiner said that now those Sunnis are ISIS fighting a sectarian was with the Shiites and using terrorism as revenge against the west. (Reiner is an actor, director, producer, and activist. He directed This is Spinal Tap. He played Meathead, Archie Bunker’s son-in-law, in the television series All in the Family.)  

Maher said that the Arab nations must put “the boots on the ground.” He pointed out that there is a precedent for this. They all banded together to fight Israel. Now they need to band together to fight ISIS.  

Aloe Blacc
Aloe Blacc
Music royalties
Perhaps the issue of writers of music not being very poorly paid for their work is not as grave as the other issues, but it is important to the writers. The interview was with musician Aloe Blacc. (His newest release is Lift Your Spirit.) Blacc says that he wants “control over who sings my songs and the current copyright laws don’t allow that.   

Maher said, “If the world is going to shit, on the way, I want to listen to good music.”  

Pardon me
Pardon me for not really doing justice to the Real Time with Bill Maher show. This review and recap has to leave so much out. I’ll get to some of the bits I omitted in other posts that I will do later in the week. 

Bill Maher’s Guests, episode 344, aired on February 20, 2015

Bill Nye: Scientist, educator, humorist, author of several books including Bill Nye's Comic History of England and Undeniable: Evolution and the Science of Creation

Rob Reiner: Actor, director, producer, activist. He directed This is Spinal Tap. He played Meathead, Archie Bunker’s son-in-law, in the television series  All in the Family.

Aloe Blacc: Rapper, musician. His newest release is Lift Your Spirit

Fran Lebowitz: Writer for Vanity Fair, public speaker, author of several books including Tales From A Broad: An Unreliable Memoir

Elahe Izadi: Journalist, reporter for The Washington Post
Bill Maher and Bill Nye
Bill Maher and Bill Nye