Pardon me, but I have to inform you about a few rather ugly things in the news this week, and I’m not even talking about terrorism (Islamic or otherwise. Bill Maher and his guests discussed some of these despicable events on Real Time with Bill Maher episode 344, which aired on February 20, 2015.
 |
| I have some giuliani on my shoe. |
Giuliani: I’ve got some giuliani on my shoe.
I have to lead with Rudy Giuliani for his despicable comments
this week; the ones that he should be asking pardon for, but instead he’s proud
of them. He said:
“I do not believe — and I know
this is a horrible thing to say — but I do not believe that the president loves
America. He doesn’t love you. And he doesn’t love me. He wasn’t brought up the
way you were brought up and I was brought up through love of this country.”
Giuliani knows it is horrible,
he said it—in public—anyway, and not only does he not apologize for it, he’s
proud of it.
I can’t look at that man’s face
with thinking about something that needs to be scraped off the bottom of my
shoe. He disgusts me that much.
Remember santorum. Google it. Rick Santorum said some despicable things
about gays, and as a result a campaign was launched to create a neologism
making his name mean a disgusting substance. It came up as the first listing
for many years, and it is still on the first page.
I propose that we do the same
for Giuliani. As in:
Pardon me, I’ve got to scrape
this giuliani off my shoe.
Yuck, it looks like I’ve stepped
in some giuliani.
Panel member, Fran Lebowitz,
is a writer for Vanity Fair, humorist,
public speaker, and author of several books including Tales
from A Broad: An Unreliable Memoir.
Lebowitz is particular noted for writing about New York City. She offered the
best explanation for why Giuliani said this. She said that Giuliani earns his
living now as a public speaker, and smears against Obama is what his groups
want to hear. Maybe his bookings were slipping so he needed to get himself some
publicity. I hope it backfires on him. After all, who wants giuliani on their
speaker’s platform? It’s bad enough when you get it on your shoe.
Maher’s explanation was a joke about how Giuliani wanted
love from Obama, in the carnal way. As part of a joke in his monologue, Maher
read from a book he said that Giuliani had written—“50 Shades of Black.” In one
scene Giuliani is alone in the oval office with Obama when Obama “reaches into
his pants and pulls out his long hard black…veto pen, and waves it in Giuliani’s
face. (Pardon me for repeating that very-off-color joke.)
Remember Giuliani’s short-lived campaign for the Republican
nomination for president, Joe Biden said, Giuliani’s entire campaign was “a
noun, a verb, and 9-11. Giuliani is still at it. He trades on the fact that he
was mayor of NYC when 9-ll happened. He ignores how he was responsible for some
of the deaths because he insisted on having the command center in the World
Trade Center when the people responsible for security of the city wanted it to
be in Brooklyn. As a result there was no command center that day. Why did he
put the command Center in the World Trade Center? He did it so he would have a
convenient place for trysts with his mistress.
Giuliani is also always talking about how much he loves
America. Maher said, “If America was a woman he’d move her into the mayor’s
mansion while his wife was still there. (Giuliani actually did have his
mistress come to live at the mayor’s mansion while his wife was still living
there.)
[If you like me have a little trouble with the spelling,
remember Giuliani puts I (himself) before U (you).]
New Rules: Doobie Brothers
 |
| Obama as a young man |
In the final New Rules segment, Doobie Brothers, Maher took
on some more despicable behavior from politicians. He began by saying how
stupid it was to ask potential candidates about their use of marijuana. It was
shocking when Bill Clinton admitted to it; now it would be shocking if a
candidate denied it.
“Everyone from Bill Clinton to Newt Gingrich,
Al Gore to Rick Santorum, John Kerry to Sarah Palin — they have all fessed up,”
he said. “Come on, when even Ted Cruz cops to it? That one surprised me, I must
admit. I thought, ‘Who would get high with Ted Cruz?’”
Now it is about the hypocrisy. Jeb Bush got singled out for
being particularly hypocritical. Jeb not only smoked pot, he was a dealer in
his prep school. Jeb
dismissed it by saying that he was “a cynical little turd at a cynical school.”
This
self-admitted turd is still a cynical little turd. When Jeb was governor of
Florida, he instituted jail-only policies—no treatment-- for drug offenses —
except in one case. Maher said, ““Except when it was your daughter, when you
made an exception,” Wow, that sounds like something a cynical turd would do.” We
better be careful--if Jeb gets into the oval office, he’ll be getting giuliani
all over the rug.
Maher reminded
us that President Obama not only smoked pot as a young man, he looked cool
doing it. These presidential candidates never went to jail for the drug crimes
they committed. (It helps to have “parents who are white and well-connected”,
Maher said.)
Maher said
that it’s time for Obama to call an end to the war on drugs and to give a
pardon to all the people in prison for non-violent marijuana offenses.
Oscars
 |
| Oscar |
Later in the show, Maher mentioned
that the Best Picture Oscar usually goes to the movie about a cause. He said a
sure winner would be “a movie about a slave with AIDS during the Holocaust.”
Maher did the comedy segment about
the Oscars. The nominees all get swag bags. This year the swag is estimated to
be worth $160,000. Maher showed us some of the actual items in the actual items
in the swag bag and since the Oscars coincides with the Daytona 500 this year,
he joked about the counterpart item in the Daytona 500 swag bag. For instance,
at the Oscars you get a fancy face cream; at the Daytona 500 you get a jar of
Bubba’s mayonnaise. The Oscars gives you an expensive weight loss treatment;
the Daytona 500 gives you a bag of meth.
The Issues
Pardon me, for even bringing these up again. I know you probably
feel as much despair as I do whenever these subjects come up.
Maher mentioned “Millennial Anger” saying that young people
today are blaming the prior generations for the mess they will inherit. I can’t
say I blame them--we have created problems (like ISIS) and ignored others (like
climate change.
Climate Change
Bill Nye, scientist, educator, humorist, and author of several
books (including Bill
Nye's Comic History of England and Undeniable:
Evolution and the Science of Creation) said we have to stop talking
about “climate skeptics.” The correct term is “climate denier.”
Panelist, Elahe Izadi,
Journalist and reporter for The Washington Post said “Half of
the Republicans now believe it.” Maher said, But not the feces-throwers and
flat-earthers who vote in the primaries” which makes it political suicide for
the Republican leadership refuses to acknowledge climate change.
The Mid East
We wouldn’t be having the ISIS problem if we had not invaded
Iraq and removed Saddam and his Sunni regime. Panelist Rob Reiner said that now those Sunnis are ISIS fighting a sectarian
was with the Shiites and using terrorism as revenge against the west. (Reiner
is an actor, director, producer, and activist. He directed This
is Spinal Tap. He played Meathead, Archie
Bunker’s son-in-law, in the television series All in the
Family.)
Maher said that the Arab nations must put “the boots on the ground.”
He pointed out that there is a precedent for this. They all banded together to
fight Israel. Now they need to band together to fight ISIS.
 |
| Aloe Blacc |
Music royalties
Perhaps the issue of writers of music not being very poorly paid
for their work is not as grave as the other issues, but it is important to the
writers. The interview was with musician Aloe
Blacc. (His newest release is Lift
Your Spirit.) Blacc says that he wants “control over who sings my
songs and the current copyright laws don’t allow that.
Maher said, “If the world is going to shit, on the way, I
want to listen to good music.”
Pardon me
Pardon me for not really doing justice to the Real Time with Bill Maher show. This review
and recap has to leave so much out. I’ll get to some of the bits I omitted in
other posts that I will do later in the week.
Bill Maher’s Guests, episode 344, aired on February
20, 2015
Bill Nye: Scientist,
educator, humorist, author of several books including Bill Nye's
Comic History of England and Undeniable:
Evolution and the Science of Creation
Rob Reiner: Actor,
director, producer, activist. He directed This is Spinal
Tap. He played Meathead, Archie Bunker’s son-in-law, in the
television series All in the
Family.
Aloe Blacc: Rapper,
musician. His newest release is Lift Your
Spirit
Fran Lebowitz:
Writer for Vanity Fair, public speaker, author of several books including Tales From A
Broad: An Unreliable Memoir
Elahe Izadi: Journalist,
reporter for The Washington Post
 |
| Bill Maher and Bill Nye |
No comments:
Post a Comment
Do you agree? Do you have something to add? I'd love to hear your opinions, so please post a comment. Don't forget to click "Publish" just below the "Comment" window.