HBO's Real Time with Bill Maher #322 "Bad Boys"

Hillary Clinton gives her book,
 Hard Choices, to Mr. Squirrel

Bad Boys

by Catherine Giordano

The bad boys came out to play on "Real Time with Bill Maher", episode 322, which aired on 6/20/2014. 

Bill Maher, who is always a bad boy, had a few comments in his monologue about some bad boys. He mentioned the Isis group in Iraq who took the Iraqi city of Baiji and robbed a bank in the process. Maher said “When they do it they are terrorists; when we do it we are venture capitalists.   

Maher also blasted the Republicans who got it all wrong when they urged the U.S. to go to war with Iraq—Dick Cheney, John McCain, Bill Kristol (to name a few) all over the TV now complaining that Obama is not handling the ISIS insurgency correctly. He called them “Satan’s V.I.P. list for Hell.” The bad-est of these bad boys is Cheney-- Maher joked that Cheney said, “My thoughts and prayers go out to our oil.” 

Later in a discussion about foreign policy, Maher reported that even Fox News was buying it anymore.  Megan Kelly, A Fox-News host grilled Cheney during a TV interview saying “All your predictions were wrong.” Kristen Soltis Anderson, a Republican pollster for the company, Echelon Insights, and a columnist for The Daily Beast reported that “There is a wide spectrum of opinion on that by Republicans.”  Well perhaps.  There is Rand Paul vs. all the other Republicans.) 

The pope is now on Maher’s list of bad boys.  Maher said, “The honeymoon is over between me and Pope Frank.” It seems the Pope called drugs and alcohol evil and said there can be no compromise with evil. Maher added that this was coming from someone “who never drinks anything stronger than the blood of Christ.”  A wicked bad quip. 

The interview was with Ta-Nehisi Coates who is a national correspondent at The Atlantic, which recently published his much talked about article in The Atlantic magazine, “The Case for Reparations.”  He is also the author of the memoir. The Beautiful Struggle: A Father, Two Sons, and an Unlikely Road to Manhood.   Coates said that black people in America are in a constant state of “unfreedom.”   He talked about Jim Crow, debt peonage (share cropping) segregation and more making the case for reparations. Maher asked his if he agreed with Martin Luther King who said (repeating words first used by Theodore parker, a Unitarian minister and abolitionist) “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice.” Coates responded saying “oh, nooo,” drawing out the word “no” and sadly shaking his head. The he added “It’s an arc of injustice.” 

Two of the panelists, both bad boys got into a bad screaming match. Paul Reickhoff is a veteran of the United States Army and the Iraq War and founder and Executive Director of Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America, and author of Chasing Ghosts: Failures and Facades in Iraq: A Soldier’s Perspective. Reickoff is passionate about advocating for soldiers and veterans. His opponent in this fight was Glenn Greenwald, a lawyer, Pulitzer Prize winning journalist, author I of several books. His most recent book is No Place to Hide: Edward Snowden, the NSA, and the U.S. Surveillance State. Greenwald is a passionate advocate for Edward Snowden and more transparency in government.

 

They strongly disagreed about whether Snowden was a traitor for revealing state secrets (Reickhoff’s position) or  a hero for exposing excessive government surveillance (Greenwald’s position). Greenwald made an excellent point when he said that Snowden did not reveal anything. He only turned the files over to newspapers and asked them to vet it carefully. It may be splitting hairs, but Greenwald is a lawyer, and a defense can turn on how hairs were split. 

Maher had to break up the fight before it came to blows by interrupting and changing the subject to the Flip–A-District campaign.   

Maher then moved on to a news story about Dr. Oz touting green coffee extract as a “miracle” and “magic” weight loss aid. (When a doctor uses words like “miracle” and “magic” you know he has sold out.) Maher then held up a Time magazine showing the cover story about weight-loss titled, “Eat More Butter.” Maher claimed this was all about telling people what they want to hear, and he had a few magazine cover story ideas of his own.  Here’s a few of them: 

Boys Life:                If All the Scouts are Doing It, It is Not Really Gay         

Sports Illustrated:    Video Gamers: The Real Athletes

AARP:                     That Smell Isn’t Really Coming from You

Hustler:                    Masturbation Prevents Cancer    

Modern Parenting:   How to Raise a Genius by Sticking Your Toddler in Front of the TV All   Day    

 

Read more about wish-fulfillment magazine over stories at BillMaherRules.

(I include the most salacious ones there.)

The mid-show guest was, Mike Shinoda a musician, record producer, and artist. He is best known as the rapper, principal songwriter, keyboardist, rhythm guitarist and one of the two vocalists of the rock band Linkin Park which has had more number one hits than any other band.  His newest album is The Hunting Party. Shinoda is also the author (with Shepherd Fairey) of Glorious Excess. 

Shinoda talked about how the band has moved from themes of teen-aged angst to songs about social issues over the years. Shinoda is now very involved with social issues like relief efforts for major natural disasters causes like climate change. 

In New Rules, Maher mocked “Co-dependence Day.”  He said “Broken nations are like broken people. You can’t fix them,” adding, “Maybe America needs Dr. Phil to ask, 'How’s that nation-building thing working out for you?’”  

Maher said that the United States went into Iraq thinking (My interjection: Or at least saying, because we all know the real reason was oil) we would liberate the country from a dictator, install a democracy, and then that democracy would be a model for the whole Mid-east. He brought the point home by finishing with “and then after lunch …” He said the United States was like a woman who thinks she can fix the bad boys.   

Have you seen that big bad orange squirrel on TV—the one that is following Hillary Clinton around. (Actually, it’s a person in a squirrel costume, and the squirrel looks cute and cuddly.) It’s leftover from the campaign against Obama and it was meant to associate Obama with the group, Acorn.  Maher pointed out that since Acorn has been defunct for many years now, the prop no longer makes sense. Unless, as Maher said, as he held up a picture of the 2012 Republican contenders on the debate stage, it makes sense because “Republicans like to gather all their nuts in the fall.” 

The whole squirrel thing is not working at all. I saw a clip on TV where Hillary approached “Mr. Squirrel”, as she called him, shook his hand, and gave him a copy of her book, Hard Choices.  Mr. Squirrel looked delighted as he hugged the book to his chest and gave Hillary a thumbs-up sign. (My guess is that the person inside that squirrel costume no longer has a job as a squirrel impersonator.)  CLICK HERE to see video.

 

The bad boys are not going to change, whether they are your boyfriends, or your   leaders, or your leaders, or even your comedians. I wish they would, except for Bill Maher—Bill, you keep on being your bad funny self. Keep that political and social satire coming. Our country needs it bad.

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Bill Maher’s Guests,  #322,  June 6, 2014

Paul Reickhoff: Writer, veteran of the United States Army and the Iraq War, founder and Executive Director of Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America, and author of Chasing Ghosts: Failures and Facades in Iraq: A Soldier’s Perspective

Ta-Nehisi Coates: National correspondent at The Atlantic, which recently published his much talked about article, "The Case for Reparations." He is also the author of a memoir. The Beautiful Struggle: A Father, Two Sons, and an Unlikely Road to Manhood.

Glenn Greenwald: American lawyer, journalist, author I of several books.  His most recent book is No Place to Hide: Edward Snowden, the NSA, and the U.S. Surveillance State

Kristen Soltis Anderson: Republican pollster for the firm, Echelon Insights, columnist for The Daily Beast.

Mike Shinoda: Musician, record producer, and artist. He is best known as the rapper, principal songwriter, keyboardist, rhythm guitarist and one of the two vocalists of the rock band Linkin Park.  His newest album is "The Hunting Party." He is the author (with Shepherd Fairey) of Glorious Excess.

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Real Time with Bill Maher #321 June 13, 2014 "Totally Tripping"

Totally Tripping

by Catherine Giordano

Bill Maher was tripping out, but his guests pretty much avoided tripping up on HBO’s Real Time with Bill Maher, episode 321, which aired on 6/13/14.  I promise, this review and recap will be worth the trip. 

Let’s start at the end with New Rules and a bit called “Brownie Points.” Maher gave Colorado its marching orders with the rules a state must observe when that state is the first to legalize recreational marijuana making it “The Jackie Robinson of Pot.” His point was that when you are first at something, the way Jackie Robinson, was the first black in major league baseball, you have to get it right or you will ruin it for those who hope to follow you.  

Maureen Dowd went to Colorado, got some pot, and did everything wrong.  Then she blasts the details of her bad trip in The New York Times. (Read the column here.)  This prompted Maher to proclaim some rules for weed newbies.  I repeat them as a public service.

·         Don’t do it alone the first time. 

·         Don’t mix pot with alcohol.  It’s like funny pron.  It ruins both. 

·        The first time, smoke it, don’t eat it.  Eating it makes is more intense.  Eating it is more likely to make you paranoid. 

·         It takes time to have an effect. Be patient. Don’t keep taking more. 

·         Also the serving size of a regular brownie may be one brownie, but the serving size of a pot brownie is just a very small bite.
 

·        Don’t take stuff made for veteran users. You know like skiers who are supposed to learn on the bunny slope.   

Then he advised Colorado not to throw the baby out with the bong water. Be sure to give newbie customers detailed instructions and guidance. Also, stop selling pot that looks like popular brands of candy. That is not what stoners do; it is what R.J Reynolds does. 

CLICK HERE for more details about "Brownie Points"

And now to a few people in the news who tripped up this week. 
 

·       Eric Cantor lost his primary for his e district to a Tea party newcomer.  Maher quipped that Cantor said, “I get it. I was unreasonable, uninformed, and hateful.  What happened?  

·        Rick Perry compared gay people to alcoholics.  Perry believes that maybe they got a bad gene, but they can just control it. 

·       Hillary got into some kind of fight with Terry Gross on NPR about how and why and when Hillary changed her position on gay marriage. I heard that sound bite.  It seemed to me that they were both saying the exact same thing.  (Listen to it here.) 
    

·        McCain who has been proven wrong on everything he has ever said about Iraq, now wants us to bomb Iraq to protect the Shiite government. But wait, Iran is Shiite so we would be helping Iran who McCain also wants us to bomb. In fact McCain’s answer to everything is bombing. McCain is a cranky old man who should have retired long ago.

 

The interview was with Gina McCarthy, U.S. Environmental Protection Agency administrator. She spoke about the Clean Power Program and the importance of the fight against pollution to public health.  She said, “Reducing carbon is an economic opportunity. She told us that five Northeast states have acted on their own and are making cap and trade work. Who opted out? Massachusetts (under Governor Romney) and New Jersey (under Governor Christie) they had/have presidential ambitions and both members of the anti-science party. 

 

I am against the Keystone pipeline, not just because of the dangers of an oil spill, but because it is putting money into an antiquated technology. Renewable energy is the energy of the future and will make this country free of dependence on foreign oil. It will create far more jobs that the pipeline and spur economic development. Its win-win--except if you happen to be a billionaire in the oil industry. (I mean you, Koch brothers.)  

            

The panelists included Richard A. Clarke, former National Coordinator for Security, Infrastructure Protection, and Counter-terrorism and author of several books, both fiction and non-fiction. His newest novel is Sting of the Drone.  He was the first person to tell the country the truth about 9-11. He has the wisdom and gravitas of an elder statesman.  

 

Another panelist was Krystal Ball, co-host on MSNBC's The Cycle. She’s relatively young, but she is poised and in command of the facts.  

 

The third panelist was Tom Rogan:  a contributor to National Review Online, The Daily Telegraph, and blogger at TomRoganThinks. Tom Rogan may think, but not always too well—alas he thinks like a conservative which means he frequently distorts the facts, as in this exchange with Clarke.

 

 

Maher:     Saddam was against the jihadists. We got rid of the Sunni secularists and now we have the Sunni crazies.  

 

Clarke:     Saddam was fighting Al Qaeda.

 

Rogan:     I agree, but if we hadn’t gotten rid of him he would have had a nuclear program.

 

Clarke:     No, we wouldn’t have allowed it. (spoken with firm authority)

 

Rogan:     We allowed it in Iran. 

 

Clarke:     No, we have not allowed it. (spoken with firm authority)

 

Rogan:     We’ll see. (spoken petulantly)

 

Rogan’s dubious arguments were not helped by his over-eager puppy dog manner.  He looked and acted like a 12-year old child.  I wanted to ask him to move to the children’s table so the adults could talk. 

 

The discussion about Iraq was quite a long one—usually Maher is changing subjects every three minutes—so they got into the dynamics of the Middle East in some detail.

 

Maher took an historical view. “In the 16^th century, the Catholics and the protestants spent 100 years killing each other. Now Islam is having its 16^th century. Let them have it.” Exactly right—we don’t need to be involved in their religious wars that have been going on almost since the beginnings of Islam. 

 

Getting back to the present crisis, Clarke said, “We are still trying to clean up the mess that Bush created for the world.”  

 

Rogan piped up, “We withdrew our troops that why.”  

 

Clarke set him straight. “It would have happened whenever we withdrew, even if we stayed for 1000 years.” 

 

Ball added. “We thought that with magical capitalism-democracy fairy dust, we could fix everything. 

 

Naturally, Rogan had to bring up the same-old, same old. “If you do nothing, they will export terrorism. 

 

Clarke had to set him straight again. “If they set up terrorism camps in Iraq, we will deal with it. But let it happen first.”  

 

Maher added, “Terrorist groups are all over the world. We would have to go to war with 15 countries.”  Later, he added, “We can use drones, the middle ground between sending an army and doing nothing.”  Maher got it exactly right.  

  

The mid-show guest was Carol Leifer, a stand-up comedian, writer and producer for several TV shows, and author. Her latest book is How to Succeed in Business Without Really Crying, a book that instructs young people how to succeed in business with such hints as, don’t be late, don’t dress like a whore. (Do young people actually need to be told these things.  It seems they do.)  

 

On the issue of women in business, Leifer talked about a woman who went on a job interview and was asked if she could make a good cup of coffee. “She stormed right out of that Starbucks.” 

 

Leifer also discussed telling her eight year old son she was going to marry her partner a woman. Here sold told her “Girls can’t get married to each other.” Leifer said, “So now I have to tell my mother her grandson is a Republican.” 

 

The mid-show comedy segment was about stuff written on T-shirts for pregnant woman.  It seems a T-shirt that said “Wake me when I am skinny again,” set off a controversy about expectations about women’s bodies.  I don’t get it.  I think a lot of pregnant women feel this way.  So Maher came up with some other T-shirt scripts, such as, 

 

·         “It looked like fun on Juno. 

 

·         Nice try, Trojans. 

 

·         I’m with Stupid ä 

 

See more details about the comedy bit at Bill Maher Rules.
 

Let’s end this trip with something Richard Clarke said.  “Doctor Frankenstein creates the monster and it kills him. Cantor created the Tea party and it killed him.”   

 

Also, a bit of advice for Hillary.  Don’t get testy and petulant during interviews. That slamming the press works for Republicans because the Republican base hates what they call “the liberal media.” Democrats, not so much.  Don’t let the story of the day (or week) be about a catfight.  

 

I’ll be tripping with Bill Maher again next week. Same time. Same place.  I hope you come along for the ride.

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Guests

CLICK HERE for details

Gina McCarthy:  U.S. Environmental Protection Agency administrator

Richard A. Clarke:  former National Coordinator for Security, Infrastructure Protection, and Counter-terrorism and author of several books, both fiction and non-fiction.  His newest novel is Sting of the Drone 

Krystal Ball:  co-host on MSNBC's The Cycle

Tom Rogan:  a contributor to National Review Online, The Daily Telegraph, blogger at TomRoganThinks

Carol Leifer: a stand-up comedian, writer and producer for several TV shows, and author. Her latest book is How to Succeed in Business Without Really Crying 

HBO "Real Time with Bill Maher" #320 June 6, 2014 "Spinning"

Spinning

by Catherine Giordano

A whole lot of spinning going on during HBO’s “Real Time with Bill Maher.” Episode 320, with aired on Friday June 6, 2014.  He’s the recap, review and commentary.

 

Rumplestiltskin wanted flax spun into gold in the children’s fairytale. Similarly Republicans have taken another innocuous event and they are trying to spin it to scandal. The event is the return of Bowe Bergdalh, a prison of war being held in Afghanistan in exchange for five prisoners of war held in Guantamo Bay by the United States.  Oh well, at least it got the Republicans to shut up about Benghazi for a few minutes.

 

Maher devoted his whole monologue to the issue. He had a lot of funny lines. I’ll give just a few here.

 

·         Fox News said we don’t want to weigh in until all the facts are distorted.

 

·        We don’t trade prisoners for hostages; we trade arms for hostages (a reference to Iran-contra.)

 

·         They say Bergdahl walked off the job—who does he think he is –Sarah Palin?

See the full recap of the monolog at Bill Maher Rules.

 

Later on Maher had still more to say on the topic of Bergdahl’s release. He said that releasing five Guantanamo prisoners is no big deal even if they go back to Afghanistan.  “It is like having five more personal trainers in L.A.”  And, “If they are so bad, how come we caught them?” And later, about Obama negotiating with the enemy, “They want this to be like the Real Housewives—throw a drink in their faces. That what we do, we talk to people.”

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The interview was with Ralph Reed, a conservative political activist, first executive director of Christian Coalition, and now head of Faith and Freedom Coalition. My guess is that Reed wanted to be on the show to plug his new book, Awakening: How America Can Turn from Economic and Moral Destruction Back to Greatness and Maher wanted to have him on the show so he could do a little Bible bashing.

Now I have nothing against religion bashing, that is, pointing out the inconvenient truths and moral contradictions of the Bible. The problem is, it’s an exercise in futility—no one’s mind is changed.  Maher points out the urgings to stone women for illicit sex and the approval of slavery in the Bible, and Reed counters by saying it is the Old Testament saying those things and Jesus did not say things like that. Maher responds, “So it is the Jew God who is bad?” The line got a laugh, but not as big a laugh as when Reed said, “It was a different kind of slavery then.” Unlike Maher, Reed was not trying to be funny. Evidently, according to Reed, there is a good kind of slavery.  

One of the panelists was Nicolle Wallace, a political commentator, former communications chief for George W. Bush, former senior advisor for the McCain-Palin campaign and author of several (White House themed) novels, most recently, It’s Classified: A Novel. I hope her novels offer more variety than her political commentary. Like a demented jack-in-the-box she kept popping up, no matter what the topic: “Obama has had six years, what has he done?”  Finally, Maher had to slap her hard across the face (verbally, not literally) and tell her she knows very well why Obama has not been able to accomplish a lot of the things on his agenda—Republican obstructionism.  I always thought Wallace was better than that—I thought she was a serious political analyst—evidently she is a spinning hack.  

It was left to another conservative panelist, Jim Geraghty, a conservative blogger and regular contributor to the National Review and the author of the (roman a clef) novel, The Weed Agency: A Comic Tale of Federal Bureaucracy Without Limits to try to present the conservative case in a reasonable manner.  Not that his ideas are reasonable--he said raising the minimum wage would raise the price of a cup of coffee at Starbucks to $20.  

The third panelist Anthony Weiner, a former congressman (D, NY) forced to resign from Congress over a sexting scandal and a former New York mayoral candidate forced to resign from the race over a sexting scandal who now works as a columnist for a web news site, Business Insider, was his usual impassioned self, arguing for the liberal point of view, with facts, reason, and passion. (Speaking of passion, I’m glad no one made mention of is sexting—he has been beat up enough over that. And the mistakes he made in his personal life don’t negate his political positions. Weiner told Geraghty that minimum wage workers eat at McDonalds, so workers with more money to spend will bring McDonald’s more business.  (Several cities and several companies have already raised their minimum wages and they are doing very well.)  

Weiner had a great line. He said, “We take your ideas and do them and now you don’t like those ideas. What ideas do you like?”  It was a rhetorical question—the two conservatives on the panel had no answer. 

The mid-show guest was John Waters, a film director, screenwriter, actor, stand-up comedian, journalist, visual artist, art collector, and author of a (sort of) memoir, Carsick: John Waters Hitchhikes Across America. He talked about the adventure that led to his new book. He stuck his thumb out in front of his house and traveled across the country—it took him 21 rides and nine days. He’s a very funny and interesting person.  Maher said that  at age 50, comfort is very important to him, but Waters, who is considerably older said, “You can’t get too comfortable.  It hurts your street cred.”  Waters also said, “Hitchhiking is like phone sex. The more you talk, the further he’ll take you. “I’m putting this book on my “To Read” list. However, I won’t be taking his advice and hitchhiking anywhere, not even to the bus stop, much less across the country.

Read more about John Waters (including his interview on The Colbert Report) on the blog: Bill Maher Rules.

The mid-show comedy segment as about how some politicians want to be elected so bad they don’t care how they do it.  They will change parties.  They will even change states, as Scott Brown has done. (He was senator R-MA and now he running as R-NH.)  It seems that some will go so far as to change their names. Scott Fistler, has not had much success getting elected in an Hispanic district in Arizona running as a Republican. Now he has legally changed his name to Cesar Chavez, and is running for Congress in the Democratic primary. He is not Hispanic and he is running against two real Democrats who really are Hispanic—he is not expected to even come close to winning.)   

This prompted Maher to do his mid-show comedy bit about political posters for other Republicans who might want to change their names to attract minority voters.  Here’s a few of the tag lines, although it is much funnier if you see the posters.    

·         Cheech McDonnell: Don’t stop thinking about tamale.

 

·         Juan Boehner: My face is red and I’m crying because this sauce is muy caliente.

 

·         Sarah James Olmos. I can see Tijuana from mi casa. 

·        To attract African Americans Chris Christie will become Andre 3000 Pounds: a chicken and waffle in every pot. 

·       To attract gays Ted Cruz will become Ted Cruising and his slogan will be “Drill Baby Drill.” 

In New Rules the final segment was named “Here Comes Gunny Boo Boo.” Maher said, “Never think it can’t get crazier.” He was referring to the people who carry guns everywhere. 

Maher quipped, “You’re in Home Depot to buy a toilet seat. You are not likely to meet armed resistance,”  followed by “Putin has not annexed Chipolte.”  

He made fun of the open-carry nuts who say if we don’t use it , we will lose it.  “No, that is frequent flyer miles.” 

Maher called them “ammo-sexualists” adding “Don’t deny it is a romantic relationship.  You are taking it out to dinner.”  

Maher also pointed out that don’t-leave-home-without-your-assault-rifle types did what progressives couldn’t do. They go guns banned.  (Several restaurants have asked patrons not to bring guns into their stores.)   

Maher ended with “If you want to die in a fast food restaurant, you will have to do it the old fashioned way by eating their food.”   

My head was not exactly spinning like the demon possessed girl in The Exorcist [Director’s Cut: Extended Edition], but the one-liners and punditry kept my head spinning pretty much throughout the show.

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Guests: June 6, 2014

John Waters: film director, screenwriter, actor, stand-up comedian, journalist, visual artist, and art collector, and author of a (sort of) memoir, Carsick: John Waters Hitchhikes Across America 

Ralph Reed: conservative political activist, first executive director of Christian Coalition, now head of Faith and Freedom Coalition, author of several political books. His latest book is Awakening: How America Can Turn from Economic and Moral Destruction Back to Greatness. He has also written a novel, Ballots and Blood: A Novel  

Jim Geraghty: conservative blogger and regular contributor to National Review, author of the (roman a clef) novel, The Weed Agency: A Comic Tale of Federal Bureaucracy Without Limits 

Nicolle Wallace: political commentator, former communications chief for George W. Bush, former senior advisor for the McCain-Palin campaign, and author of several (White House themed) novels, most recently, It’s Classified: A Novel 

Anthony Weiner: former congressman (D, NY), forced to resign from Congress over a sexting scandal, former New York City mayoral candidate, forced to resign from the race over a sexting scandal  (Some people never learn.)