Real Time with Bill Maher #325 July 18, 2014 "Death Star"

The Death Star destroys a planet.

by Catherine Giordano

Who needs the Death Star?  We Earthlings are doing a real good job of raining death down on our planet all by ourselves.

 

On HBO’s Real Time with Bill Maher, which aired on July 18, 2014, Bill Maher mixed his metaphors a bit. He was talking about Star Trek and the Death Star is featured in Star Wars, but never mind, it's still a good theme for the entire show.

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A Malaysian airliner was shot out of the sky this week by Ukrainian separatists using surface-to-air missiles supplied by Russia.  All 298 people on board were killed. One of the panelists, Jamie Weinstein, political columnist and commentator, senior editor of The Daily Caller, a conservative news and opinion website, and author (with Will Rahn) of  The Lizard King: The Shocking Inside Account of Obama's True Intergalactic Ambitions by an Anonymous White House Staffer said “Putin played a reckless game. He funded the separatists.” He was right n that, but then he had to go and ruin it by firing off the same old Republican talking points. “Obama should impose stricter sanctions. Obama has to speak with moral clarity. Obama has to increase defense spending.”  Maher fired back, “Obama is already doing that. Should he go to war with Russia? Weinstein had to back down and said, “No.”

 

Another panelist, Jane Harmon, former Congresswoman (D, CA) and President and CEO of The Wilson Center had a better idea. “We can export clean energy to Europe.” Since gas is a major source of income to Russia, the more we replace fossil fuels with clean energy, the more we deprive Russia of the funds it needs for its invasion of the Ukraine.  She also pointed out that the sanctions Obama imposed are already working. She said, “The Russian economy is tanking.”

Missiles are flying on the Israeli-Gaza border. Israel is trying to take out the missile launching sites and destroy the tunnels that Hamas has built on the border to sneak into Israel to attack Israelis. Maher defended Israel. Whose fault is it really? Israel has a right to defend itself.  

 

Harmon agreed saying, “Israel is using its missile defense system to protect its citizens [with bunkers]. Hamas is using its citizens to protect missile defense systems.  He also said, “Hamas would kill as many Israelis as it could. Israel is not killing as many Palestinians as it could.” In other words, Israel is showing restraint, doing only as much killing as is needed for defense.

 

Maher concluded by saying that world opinion is the least of Israel’s problems. The real problem for Israelis is “Will I get killed when I go to the dry cleaners?”

 

In the monologue Maher spoke about Republican response to the Israeli defense, Operation Protective Edge. He said that Republicans say, “Now that is how you secure a border!”

 

Maher said that the Republican response to everything is to say that Obama is weak and ineffective. And the next thing they say is that Obama is a tyrant who controls everything.  (A logical inconsistency, but when has that ever stopped Republicans?)

 

Maher summed up Republicans reactions this way:

1. McCain will call for war.
2. Obama is doing it to distract from Benghazi.
3. Obama is part of it.
4. Obama is doing nothing about it.

 


A protest sign in North Carolina

The interview was with Rev. Dr. William J Barber II, NAACP President for North Carolina and leader of the Moral Monday protests. He claimed that the Republicans governor and legislature in North Carolina are “literally killing people. He was referring to the state’s refusal to take federal money to expand Medicaid. (His accusation was not hyperbole—people in the state have died because of this.) 

 

Barber said that the Moral Monday protests were about not only Medicaid, but about all of the rights being denied to people in the state—public school teachers, public education, workers rights, earned income tax credit, the unemployed, the LGBT, women’s rights and  the biggest denial of rights--voter suppression. He said that every group as supporting this movement—people f faith and hose without faith, Democrats and Republicans, blacks and whites, because everyone in the state is being hurt.  Maher joked that “Monday is the perfect day to get people to be moral. There is nothing going on anyway.”  

The third panelist was Nate Silver, Nate Silver, a statistician who analyses politics and baseball, editor-in-chief of ESPN's FiveThirtyEight blog, special correspondent for ABC News, and author of The Signal and the Noise: Why So Many Predictions Fail — but Some Don't. He did not have a lot to say because he is all about the numbers and either doesn’t have, or doesn’t express, opinions. Maher questioned silver about voting patterns, but Maher did most of the talking.  “The people who like Obama the most are the people least likely to vote. Anger makes people vote. People don’t vote to say thank you, but to say f@@k you.”  

Weinstein couldn’t resist this opening to say, “What has Obama done to make people vote for him?  Maher then delivered a soliloquy reprising “Zombie Lies” from last week’s show. He specifically wanted to shoot down the lie about “trickle-down economics. “ He said that Republican Governor Sam Brownback of Kansas cut taxes repeatedly. As a result, state revenue collapsed, and the economy of Kansas is now in a crisis. California went the other way and raised taxes, and they have had twice the job growth. 

Weinstein, like the good little Republican mouthpiece that he is, said “It‘s too soon to judge.  It has only been two years.” Harmon responded that things are so bad in Kansas that 100 leading Republicans in the state have endorsed the Democratic candidate for governor. Silver pointed out that even though Brownback has really low approval ratings, politics is so polarized that he could still get elected. 

George Takei

 
The mid-show guest was GeorgeTakei, actor, LGBT activist, author of several books including Oh Myyy!: There Goes the Internet, and subject of a new documentary, To Be Takei. You have got to give Takei credit. He had a small role on a 1960’s television series, Star-Trek, and has lived off of it ever since. In more recent years, he has added being gay into the mix, and he has made a career of that as well.    

The Death Star comment was a response to the mention of a long-running feud between Takei and William Shatner.  Maher suggested that Takei might want to settle their dispute with a “Death Star.” Takei wouldn’t get specific about the reason for their mutual dislike, but I suspect it may have something to do with Takei being gay. Takei said that everyone on the set of Star Wars knew that he was gay and was cool with it.  He implied that the only person who didn’t know was Shatner. 

 

Maher spoke about how Star Trek was a “sneaky political show” using outer space as a metaphor for our own society. For instance, the Klingons were the Russians. They spoke about the episode in which Captain Kirk kissed a black woman. Takei said the show as blacked out in the South and the ratings plummeted.  Maher asked him if he ever asked Gene Roddenberry, the producer of the show to tackle the gay issue. He said that Roddenberry declined saying that if we pushed the envelope to far we wouldn’t b ale o do any social issues. They discussed how things have changed so much since the 60’s. Gay marriage became accepted a “warp speed.”  

 

Read Star Trek: the First 150 Years

 

The mid-show comedy segment was about the one-percent. Maher asked, as he has cone in the past, “What can you buy with your second billion that you didn’t already buy with your first billion?”  He suggested a magazine tiled “One-Percent” to help billionaires spend their money. Some of the cover stories were: 

 

• Seven New Acquisitions that Will Drive Your Trophy wife Wild
• Wine Cellars for the panic Room in the Pool house o your Vacation home
• The 2015 Republican Congress: Collect Them All
• Sheldon Adelson: Sexiest Man Alive

CLICK HERE

In New Rules, Maher took on “Blitzkrieg Cops.”  He said that Pentagon cast-offs were being given to local police forces so now every town can have its own tank.  Maher stated, “If they are dressed and equipped like an occupying army, they will act like one.”  ‘We don’t need to fill our streets with horrifying death machines.”  

 

The “jack-booted thugs” that the tea-partiers rant about are here. “They are the police coming right through the door with no warrant, a battering ram and a stun grenade.”  He concluded, “I’m afraid of the cops and I’m white.”

Read more about Blitzkrieg cops and se the video at "Tank You Very Much." 

 

I’m sick to death of stories about death.  A good thing Bill Maher can make me laugh about it. Now if that “Death Star” could just turn its laser beam somewhere else for a while.

 

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Bill Maher’s Guests for July 18, 2014

Rev. Dr. William J Barber II: State NAACP President for North Carolina, Leader of the Moral Monday protests

Jane Harmon: Former Congresswoman (D, CA), President and CEO of The Wilson Center

Nate Silver: Statistician, editor-in-chief of ESPN's FiveThirtyEight blog, special correspondent for ABC News, author of The Signal and the Noise: Why So Many Predictions Fail — but Some Don't

Jamie Weinstein: Political columnist and commentator, senior editor of The Daily Caller, a conservative news and opinion website, author of  The Lizard King: The Shocking Inside Account of Obama's True Intergalactic Ambitions by an Anonymous White House Staffer (with Will Rahn) 

GeorgeTakei:  actor, LGBT activist, author of several books including Oh Myyy!: There Goes The Internet, subject of a new documentary To Be Takei

HBO Real Time with Bill Maher #272 "Bat-Poop Crazies and Popes"

by Catherine Giordano

The last several episodes of “Real Time with Bill Maher" have been weak on comedy. I was thinking, “Well, I can’t really blame Bill. What’s he supposed to do now that Mitt Romney has gone into hiding? Mitt Romney has still “gone dark,” but Bill Maher was really funny on the February 16^th, 2013 episode of “Real Time with Bill Maher” (Episode 272).

The humor began with the opening monologue. Bill said that Obama proposed universal pre-school in the State of the Union speech. He said that Obama got that from Congress. It seems more than a few Congressmen need to learn “how to play well with others.” (Pow!)

Bill said that there is talk about getting rid of the penny. Bill suggested that we get rid of something else that is bronze and useless. John Boehner!  (Pow!) Bill said that during the state of the union speech Boehner looked liked “a man listening to a long story from a men’s room attendant.” (Pow! Pow!)

Personally, I find that I can’t keep my eyes off Boehner during Obama’s State of the Union speeches. He so clearly does not want to be there. He squirms and grimaces. He looks like a man trying to hold in gas. (Maybe he’s just dying for a drink and a cigarette.  I hear he’s a heavy drinker and smoker.)

Now that Pope Benedict is going to retire, Bill asked, “What’s next for Benedict? Dancing with the Stars?”

The interview was with Robert Zimmerman, Jr., the brother of George Zimmerman. (George Zimmerman shot and killed an unarmed teenager, Trayvon Martin, in Florida last year. He claimed that the 17-year-old boy, who was just walking home from a trip to a 7-11, “looked suspicious.”) George’s trial is coming up soon and Robert is on the “rehabilitation tour” to try to get some good press for his brother.

There is no question about whether or not George Zimmerman killed Trayvon. The only question is whether or not George killed him in self-defense. From what is known about the case, George called 911 and reported Trayvon as “up to no-good.”  He also said that “these ass-holes always get away with it.” Trayvon happened to be on the phone with his girlfriend at the time, and she reported that Trayvon told her that a man was following him and he was scared. The girl says she told Trayvon to run, and then the phone connection was lost.

Trayvon is not around to tell his side of the story, but George claims that the teenager attacked him, knocked him down, and was pummeling him, slamming his head into the ground as he sat on his chest. This has been called a “stand-your-ground case” and that initially was the Zimmerman defense. Now Robert says, it is not “stand-your-ground” because ‘stand-your- ground” states that a person does not have a duty to retreat (if possible) when threatened. Zimmerman claims that he had no possibility of retreat and that he acted in self-defense. I believe Zimmerman initiated an attack on Trayvon. (The 911 operator heard George breathing heavily as if he was running and told him not to follow Trayvon.) I believe that the kid was the one acting in self defense when Zimmerman shot him. I hope we can learn the truth during the trial.

The panel included Donna Brazille, a Democratic strategist, John Meacham, an author (most recently, Jefferson: The Art of Power) and Jamie Weinstein, the Senior Editor of “The Daily Caller”, a online magazine covering politics.  (“The Daily Caller” was founded by Tucker Carlson, a conservative wise-ass pundit, and that is all you need to know about that.)

Brazille and Meacham were fine guests—Brazille knows a lot about politics and Meadham knows a lot about history. Jamie Weinstein doesn’t know anything about anything.

I had never heard of Weinstein before or “The Daily Caller” for that matter—I had to look them both up on the internet—so I had no preconceived notions.  Weinstein reminded me of an over-eager puppy that jumps into your lap wagging his tail in your face while you are trying to talk with the grownups. He struck me as an over-eager kid. The kind of kid that was always waving his hand in the teacher’s face back in fifth grade while she was still explaining the lesson, before she even asked a question. The kind of kid had all the answers as long as it was an answer that could be memorized and regurgitated. He displayed no ability for critical thinking, you know, the ability to take in facts and arrive at conclusions.

Weinstein interrupted the grown-ups in the room to regurgitate Republican talking points. One of his mainstays, typical of conservatives, was this response that I am labeling the “I-am-rubber-you-are-glue” moment of the week. The grown-ups were discussing how Republicans were attacking Chuck Hagel, Obama’s nominee for Secretary of Defense, a man with medals for heroism in the Vietnam War—the senators with no military service at all were criticizing Hagel as unfit to be Secretary of Defense. Jamie butted in, “What about the criticism of General Pratreus by Democrats?” This happened ten years ago and the criticism did not come from senators, but from an independent group who took out a newspaper ad. Hardly even relevant to the discussion.

Bill talked about Karl Rove trying to rein in the “ bat-poop crazy” Republicans (Bill did not say "poop"; you know what he said, a word I can not use if I want a "G" rating for this review.) so the party can go back to just “regular bat-poop crazy” Republicans. It seems like some Republican said, ”baseball bats and hammers kill more people than guns.”  Besides not even being true, it is “bat-poop crazy” talk. The craziness has become so prevalent because there are so many gerrymandered “safe districts” for Republicans that the politicians don’t worry about losing the general election; they worry about losing a primary election to someone who is more “bat-poop crazy” than they are.

Bill did a great comedy segment this week. He did a parody of the David and Harry catalog (the company known for the Fruit-of-the-Month Club).  He called it “The Dirty Harry and David” catalog. Some examples of the offerings in this catalog:

·         The St. Valentines Day Massacre Basket:  She’s sure to make you her Bushmaster.

·         Pistol Farms Sample: Guns and cheese. Everything a cracker could possibly want.

·         The New York Gift Basket: Ready! Aim! Nosh!

The humor of this episode was amped up when the special guest ,Joel McHale, host of E!’s “The Soup,” came on. Joel is an easy going guy with a quick wit and an even quicker smile. Bill mentioned that “The Soup” used to cover talk shows, but now they cover reality shows. Bill said that there was “something sick” about reality shows. It is looking down on people.  Joel said that there were a few good reality shows. He mentioned “Deadliest Catch,” “Dirty Jobs,” and “Intervention.”  (I’m not familiar with any of these shows since I don’t watch reality shows. If you want my attention, you can take the trouble to script a TV show.)

“New Rules” was very funny this week. Bill lampooned those who complain about Obama getting secret service protection “like he was the manager of the local Pep Boys. These are the same people who complain about fire trucks going through red lights.” He then mimicked a whining child and said, “I don’t get to go through red lights. Why does he get to go through red lights?”

Rubio got a drubbing for his “quick-drink-of-water” moment.  Bill joked, “Someone needs to tell Mark Rubio something I learned years ago. Don’t get high before a show. You’ll wind up making no sense, and you will develop a bad case of cotton mouth.”

[My thoughts on Rubio: The Republicans are so desperate to put someone forward who doesn’t alienate half the country that they pushed Rubio out before he was ready. I do public speaking. You keep the water next to you, and if you need a drink, you wait for a place in the speech where a pause seems natural, then as if you were pausing for emphasis, you take a quick drink. You never touch your face, and you certainly don’t try to slink away from the podium as if no one can see you.)  

However, that moment did not ruin his speech. His speech was already ruined.  He attacked Obama for not talking about the very things that he did talk about in his State of the Union speech. Again, an experienced speaker knows that you have to be able to think on your feet—you need to make on-the-spot changes to your speech when the need arises.]

Bill can never resist taking a poke at religion.  Bill said, talking to the Catholics of the country, “If the Pope can leave, so can you.”  He said the church is dying off “like Moose lodges, Masons, Blockbusters, and moderate Republicans.” He said the pope is just a figure head “like Queen Elizabeth in a better dress.”  He asked, “If you are Catholic, but don’t follow anything the church says, what are you staying for?  The stained glass windows?" 

He had a barb for those who say “It doesn’t say in the rules that a Pope can’t resign.”

Bill said, in an incredulous tone, “It doesn’t say in the rules that there even is a Pope.  There is no Pope in the Bible.”

Next, Bill suggested that we should have a woman Pope. He proposed that Hillary Clinton should be the next Pope because “she knows how to handle men who can’t keep their hands to themselves.” Or what about “Pope-prah?” Bill asked. “Jesus turned water into wine and Oprah whines about retaining water.”

Still doing comedy, but striking a serious note, Bill said that any culture that excludes women always descends into sexual deviancy. And I would add that without the civilizing influence of women, men are prone to excessive violence and deviancy of all kinds.  [Read Men in Groups by Lionel Tiger first published in 1969.] I will also add that God didn’t give Eve to Adam for a companion; he knew Adam needed a woman around to keep him in line, to keep them from going bat-poop crazy.

Finally, Bill suggested that he should be Pope.  He was born and raised Catholic.  He wants nothing to do with children. And he can provide his own white puff of smoke.

I titled this review “Bat-Poop Crazies and Popes.”  Who were the the bat-poop crazies this week? Everyone who was the butt of one of Bill’s jokes -- John Boehner, the “bat-poop crazy” Republicans, Marco Rubio, reality TV “stars”—and Jaime Weinstein. 

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